Team has been involved in a substantial number of the digital media, sports, entertainment, leisure and gaming industries’ most significant merger and acquisition transactions, holding key positions at, and transacting with Scientific Games Corp, Inspired Gaming Group, FOX Bets, Ocean Casino Resort, Resorts International Holdings, PokerStars, DraftKings, Mohegan Sun, Caesars Entertainment Corporation, Harrah’s Entertainment, Tropicana Entertainment, Inc., TSG/Sky Betting & Gaming, Facebook, Inc, Wynn Resorts, Dubai World/MGM Resorts
Here's all the Bios. These guys are stellar! TEKK closed at $10.30 today. Still cheap!
If you don't like to read... you don't like to make money!!!!
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Matthew Davey — Chief Executive Officer and Director
Mr. Davey has over 25 years of experience within the digital media, sports, entertainment, leisure and gaming ecosystems, as well as experience in the public sector. He is an experienced public company executive officer and board member. He has served in executive management positions across the gaming technology arena. Over the course of Mr. Davey’s career, he oversaw more than ten mergers and acquisitions and over $1.2 billion in debt and equity capital raised to support the companies he has led.
Most recently, Mr. Davey was Chief Executive Officer of SG Digital, the Digital Division of Scientific Games Corp. (“Scientific Games”) (Nasdaq: SGMS). SG Digital was established following the purchase by Scientific Games of NYX Gaming Group Limited (“NYX”) (formerly TSXV: NYX), where Mr. Davey served as Chief Executive Officer and Director. The NYX acquisition provided Scientific Games with a vehicle to significantly accelerate the scale and breadth of its existing digital gaming business, including the strategic expansion into sports betting. In his capacity as Chief Executive Officer of NYX, Mr. Davey developed and implemented a corporate strategy that generated strong revenue growth. Mr. Davey shaped company strategy to focus on digital gaming supplier platforms and content that provided various gaming operators with the underlying gaming and sports betting systems for their online gaming business. In 2014, Mr. Davey oversaw the initial public offering of NYX, and his experience in the digital media, sports, entertainment, leisure and gaming industries helped NYX recognize momentum as a public company. After the public offering, from 2014 to 2018, Mr. Davey oversaw seven acquisitions which helped establish NYX as one of the fastest growing global B2B real-money digital gaming and sports betting platforms. These acquisitions included:
• OpenBet: In 2016, NYX completed the $385 million acquisition of OpenBet. This was one of the more complex and transformative acquisitions that Mr. Davey oversaw at NYX. Through securing co-investments from William Hill (LSE: WMH), Sky Betting & Gaming and The Stars Group (formerly Nasdaq: TSG, TSX: TSGI), Mr. Davey was able to get the acquisition from Vitruvian Partners completed successfully, winning the deal against much larger and well capitalized competitors. By combining two established and proven B2B betting and gaming suppliers, NYX was well positioned to provide customers with exciting player-driven solutions across all major product verticals and distribution channels. This allowed NYX to become the leading B2B omni-channel sportsbook platform in the market and the supplier to over 300 gaming operators globally with an extensive library of desktop and mobile game titles, including more than 700 on NYX platforms and more than 2,000 on the OpenBet platform.
• Cryptologic/Chartwell: In 2015, NYX completed the $119 million acquisition of Cryptologic and Chartwell. The acquisition provided NYX with more than 400 titles of additional leading gaming content, a broader customer base, and direct exposure to PokerStars and Intercasino, part of the Gamesys Group (LSE: GYS) — two of the world’s largest online casino offerings.
• OnGame: In 2014, NYX completed the distressed acquisition of OnGame, a premier poker content, platform and service provider. This acquisition provided NYX with one of the best poker products in the industry, access to several regulated jurisdictions, and a valuable talent pool that was instrumental in the growth of NYX. The addition of OnGame further established a path for NYX to continue its growth in both European and U.S. markets.
These acquisitions, together with meaningful organic growth, increased NYX’s revenue from $24 million in 2014 to $184 million annualized in 2017. During that time, Mr. Davey helped build NYX to have over 200 customers in the global gaming industry and a team of 1,000 employees. Mr. Davey’s success at NYX ultimately led to its sale to Scientific Games for $631 million in 2018.
Mr. Davey joined Next Gen Gaming, the predecessor to NYX, in 2000 as the Vice President of Technology, was appointed as Executive Director in 2003 and named Chief Executive Officer in 2005. Prior to that, he was the Senior Consultant for Access Systems, a company that specializes in the provision of back-end software for licensed online casinos. Prior to joining Access, Mr. Davey worked for the Northern Territory Government specializing in matters pertaining to the internet and e-commerce along with roles in the Department of Racing and Gaming. Mr. Davey received a Bachelor of Electrical & Electronic Engineering from Northern Territory University, Australia (also known as Charles Darwin University).
Robin Chhabra — President
Mr. Chhabra has been at the forefront of corporate acquisition activity within the digital gaming landscape for over a decade. His prior experience includes leading corporate strategy, M&A, and business development at two of the global leaders in the digital gaming industry, The Stars Group (“TSG”) and William Hill, and a leading supplier, Inspired Gaming Group (Nasdaq: INSE). Mr. Chhabra served on the Group Executive Committees of each of these companies. From 2017 to May 2020, Mr. Chhabra served as Chief Corporate Development Officer at TSG and, from 2019 to August 2020, he also served as the Chief Executive Officer of Fox Bet, a leading U.S. online gaming business which is the product of a landmark partnership between TSG and FOX Sports, a transaction which he led. During that period, Mr. Chhabra led several transactions which transformed TSG into the largest publicly listed online gambling operator in the world by both revenue and market capitalization and one of the most diversified from a product and geographic perspective with revenues of over $2.5 billion. Mr. Chhabra’s M&A experience is extensive and covers multiple global geographies across the digital gaming value chain and includes the following:
• TSG/Flutter Entertainment Merger: In 2019, Mr. Chhabra led the TSG M&A team that was responsible for TSG’s $12.2 billion merger with Flutter Entertainment (LSE: FLTR). The merger between TSG and Flutter Entertainment is the largest transaction in the digital gaming industry to date. The combination created the largest publicly listed online gaming company with approximately 13 million active customers and leading product offerings, which include sports betting, online casino, fantasy sports and poker. The combined entity includes some of the world’s most iconic digital gaming brands such as Fanduel, Fox Bet, Sky Bet, PaddyPower, Betfair, PokerStars and SportsBet. TSG/Flutter Entertainment is one of the most geographically diverse digital gaming and media companies with leading positions in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, Ireland, Italy, Spain, Germany and Georgia.
• TSG/Sky Betting and Gaming (“SBG”): In 2018, Mr. Chhabra led the acquisition of SBG from CVC Capital Partners and Sky plc, Europe’s largest media company, in a transaction valued at $4.7 billion. At the time of the acquisition SBG was the largest mobile gambling operator in the United Kingdom and one of the fastest growing of the major operators having doubled its online market share in three years. The acquisition of SBG provided TSG with (a) greater revenue diversification, significantly enhanced expertise and exposure to sports betting just ahead of the judicial overturn of The Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act of 1992 (PASPA) by the U.S. Supreme Court, (b) a leading position within the United Kingdom, the world’s largest regulated online gaming market, (c) improved products and technology as a result of the addition of SBG’s innovative casino and sports book offerings and a portfolio of popular mobile apps, and (d) expertise in deeply integrating sports betting with leading sports media companies, positioning TSG to create more engaging content, deliver faster growth and decrease customer acquisition costs.
• William Hill (LSE: WMH): At William Hill, from 2010 to 2017, Mr. Chhabra served as Group Director of Strategy and Corporate Development where he led several transactions which contributed to William Hill’s transformation from a land-based gambling operator in the United Kingdom to a leading online-led international business. Mr. Chhabra led William Hill’s entry into the U.S. sports betting and online lottery markets with the acquisition of four businesses, including the simultaneous acquisitions of three U.S. sportsbooks, Cal Neva, American Wagering and Brandywine Bookmaking, in 2011 for an aggregate purchase price of $55 million. These businesses ultimately led William Hill to achieve a leading position in the U.S. sports betting market with a market share of 24% in 2019. Additionally, Mr. Chhabra played a key role in structuring William Hill’s successful joint venture with PlayTech Plc (LSE: PTEC) in 2008. The combined entity created one of the largest online gambling businesses in Europe at the time of its formation and led to William Hill’s buyout of Playtech’s interest for $637 million in 2013. Prior to the transaction, William Hill had struggled in its attempt to establish a strong online gaming platform and a meaningful presence outside the United Kingdom.
Mr. Chhabra has also successfully completed four transactions worth over $1.2 billion in Australia, the world’s second largest regulated online gambling market, and various partnerships in Asia. Additionally, he completed several technology and media related transactions, including William Hill’s investment in NYX, where he worked with Mr. Davey on NYX’s transformational acquisition of OpenBet.
Prior to working in the gaming sector, Mr. Chhabra was an equities analyst and a management consultant. Mr. Chhabra received a Bachelor of Science in Economics from the London School of Economics and Political Science.
Eric Matejevich — Chief Financial Officer
Mr. Matejevich is a seasoned gaming executive with extensive experience in both the online gaming and traditional casino industries. From February to August 2019, he served as Trustee and Interim-Chief Executive Officer of Ocean Casino Resort (“Ocean”) (formerly Revel Casino, which had a construction cost of $2.4 billion) in Atlantic City, where he successfully led the management team through an ownership change and operational turnaround effort. Over the course of seven months, Mr. Matejevich managed to reduce the property’s weekly cash burn of $1.5 million to an annualized cash flow run rate in excess of $20 million.
Prior to Ocean, from 2016 to 2018, Mr. Matejevich served as the Chief Financial Officer of NYX. At NYX, he focused his efforts on integrating the company’s many acquisitions and multiple debt refinancings to simplify its capital structure and provided liquidity for growth initiatives. Additionally, Mr. Matejevich was instrumental to the executive team that sold NYX to Scientific Games for $631 million.
Prior to NYX, from 2004 to 2014, Mr. Matejevich was the Chief Financial Officer of Resorts International Holdings and later, from 2011, also the Chief Operating Officer of the Atlantic Club Casino, a property under the Resorts International Holdings umbrella — a Colony Capital (NYSE: CLNY) entity. As Chief Financial Officer, he provided managerial oversight for all finance functions for a six-property casino company with annual gaming revenue exceeding $1.3 billion, 10,000 gaming positions, 7,000 hotel rooms and over 11,000 staff members during his tenure. Mr. Matejevich led the transition effort to integrate a four-casino, $1.3 billion acquisition from Harrah’s Entertainment and Caesars Entertainment (Nasdaq: CZR). As Chief Operating Officer of Atlantic Club, he lobbied for and was successful in obtaining the first internet gaming legislation passed in the United States. The Atlantic Club was the sole New Jersey casino proponent of the legislation.
Prior to serving in various gaming positions, Mr. Matejevich was a Vice President of High Yield Research for Merrill Lynch, where he managed the corporate bond research effort for the gaming and leisure sectors and marketed high yield and other debt transactions totaling $4.8 billion. Mr. Matejevich received a Bachelor of Science in Economics from The Wharton School and a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations from The College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Pennsylvania.
Our Board of Directors
Morris Bailey — Chairman
Over the past 10 years, Mr. Bailey has been a leader in turning around Atlantic City, as well as being among the first gaming executives to embrace online gaming and sports betting in the United States. In his efforts, Mr. Bailey partnered with two of the largest digital gaming companies in the world, PokerStars, part of the Stars Group, and DraftKings (Nasdaq: DKNG). In 2010, Mr. Bailey bought Resorts Atlantic City (“Resorts”) and initiated a comprehensive renovation which allowed for the property to be rebranded and repositioned. In 2012, Mr. Bailey signed an agreement with Mohegan Sun to manage the day-to-day operations of the casino. In addition to Mohegan Sun’s operational expertise and ability to reduce costs via economies of scale, Resorts gained access to their robust customer database. Soon thereafter, Mr. Bailey and his team focused on bringing online gaming to the property. In 2015, Resorts established a platform to engage in online gaming by partnering with PokerStars, now part of the $24 billion Flutter Entertainment, PLC (LSE: FLTR), to operate an online poker room in Atlantic City. In 2018, Resorts announced deals with DraftKings and SBTech to open a sportsbook on-property and online. For 2020 year-to-date, Resorts has performed in the top quartile in internet gross gaming revenue in New Jersey. Mr. Bailey’s efforts in New Jersey helped set the framework for expansion of online sports and gaming throughout the United States.
In addition to his gaming interests, Mr. Bailey has over 50 years of experience in all facets of real estate development, asset M&A, capital markets and operations and is the founder, Chief Executive Officer and Principal of JEMB Realty, a leading real estate development, investment and management organization. Mr. Bailey has notable investment experience within the energy, finance and telecommunications sectors through investments in the Astoria Energy Plant, Basis Investment Group and Xentris Wireless.
Tony Rodio — Director Nominee
Mr. Rodio has nearly four decades of experience in the gaming industry. Most recently, Mr. Rodio served as the Chief Executive Officer and director of Caesars Entertainment Corporation (“Caesars”) (Nasdaq: CZR), one of the world’s most diversified casino-entertainment providers and the most geographically diverse U.S. casino-entertainment company, from April 2019 until its acquisition by Eldorado Resorts, Inc. in July 2020. Mr. Rodio led Caesars through its $17.3 billion merger with Eldorado Resorts, one of the largest transactions in the gaming industry to date. Additionally, Mr. Rodio was instrumental to Caesars’ expansion into the digital gaming industry and oversaw the implementation of new digital segments such as its Scientific Games powered retail sportsbook solution that now operates in various states throughout the U.S. From October 2018 to May 2019, Mr. Rodio served as Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Gaming. Prior to Affinity Gaming, he served as President, Chief Executive Officer and a director of Tropicana Entertainment, Inc. (“Tropicana”) for over seven years, where he was responsible for the operation of eight casino properties in seven different jurisdictions. During his time at Tropicana, Mr. Rodio oversaw a period of unprecedented growth at the company, improving overall financial results with net revenue that increased more than 50% driven by both operational improvements and expansion across regional markets. Mr. Rodio led major capital projects, including the complete renovation of Tropicana Atlantic City and Tropicana’s move to land-based operations in Evansville, Indiana. Each of these initiatives, among others, generated substantial value for Tropicana. Ultimately, Mr. Rodio’s efforts at Tropicana led to its sale to Eldorado Resorts in 2018 for $1.85 billion. Prior to Tropicana, Mr. Rodio held a succession of executive positions in Atlantic City for casino brands, including Trump Marina Hotel Casino, Harrah’s Entertainment (predecessor to Caesars), the Atlantic City Hilton Casino Resort and Penn National Gaming. He has also served as a director of several professional and charitable organizations, including Atlantic City Alliance, United Way of Atlantic County, the Casino Associations of New Jersey and Indiana, AtlantiCare Charitable Foundation and the Lloyd D. Levenson Institute of Gaming Hospitality & Tourism. Mr. Rodio brings extensive knowledge of and experience in the gaming industry, operational expertise, and a demonstrated ability to effectively design and implement company strategy. Mr. Rodio received a Bachelor of Science from Rider University and a Master of Business Administration from Monmouth University.
Marlon Goldstein — Director Nominee
Mr. Goldstein is a licensed attorney with nearly 20 years of experience in the gaming space. He joined The Stars Group (Nasdaq: TSG)(TSX: TSGI) in January 2014 as its Executive Vice-President, Chief Legal Officer and Secretary until his retirement from the company in July 2020 following the merger of TSG with Flutter Entertainment, PLC (LSE: FLTR). Mr. Goldstein also previously served as the Executive Vice-President, Corporate Development and General Counsel of TSG. Mr. Goldstein was also the senior TSG executive based in the United States and was one of the primary architects of TSG’s strategic vision for its U.S.-facing business. During his tenure, TSG grew from an approximately $500 million market-cap company to an approximately $7 billion market-cap company through a combination of organic growth and strategic mergers and acquisitions. Mr. Goldstein participated in numerous M&A transactions and capital markets offerings at TSG, including several transformational transactions in the digital gaming industry. Notable transactions in which Mr. Goldstein was involved include:
• TSG/Flutter Merger: In 2019, TSG merged with Flutter for a $12.2 billion transaction value, the largest transaction in the digital gaming industry to date.
• TSG/Fox Bet Partnership: In 2019, TSG entered into a partnership with FOX Sports to create FOX Bet in the U.S., a leading U.S. online gaming business. Wall Street Research estimates an approximate $1.1 billion valuation for Fox Bet post-partnership with The Stars Group.
• TSG/Sky Betting & Gaming: In 2018, TSG acquired Sky Betting & Gaming, the largest mobile gambling operator in the United Kingdom at the time, for $4.7 billion.
• TSG/CrownBet and William Hill: In 2018, TSG simultaneously acquired CrownBet and William Hill, two Australian operators, for a total of $621 million in a multi-part transaction.
• TSG/PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker: In 2014, TSG acquired The Rational Group, which operated PokerStars and Full Tilt and was the world’s largest poker business, for $4.9 billion.
Through his ability to legally structure large and complex transactions, Mr. Goldstein was integral to TSG’s vision of becoming a full-service online gaming company. Additionally, he assisted in structuring TSG’s capital markets activity, which generated liquidity for acquisitions and strengthened its balance sheet.
Prior to joining TSG, Mr. Goldstein was a principal shareholder in the corporate and securities practice at the international law firm of Greenberg Traurig P.A., where he practiced for almost 13 years. Mr. Goldstein’s practice focused on corporate and securities matters, including mergers and acquisitions, securities offerings, and financing transactions. Additionally, Mr. Goldstein was the founder and co-chair of the firm’s Gaming Practice, a multi-disciplinary team of attorneys representing owners, operators and developers of gaming facilities, manufacturers and suppliers of gaming devices, investment banks and lenders in financing transactions, and Indian tribes in the development and financing of gaming facilities.
Mr. Goldstein brings experience and insight that we believe will be valuable to a potential initial business combination target business. Mr. Goldstein received a Bachelor of Business Administration with a concentration in accounting from Emory University and a Juris Doctorate with highest honors from the University of Florida, College of Law.
Sean Ryan — Director Nominee
Mr. Ryan is a digital media and technology operator with extensive global experience in online payments, e-commerce, marketplaces, mobile ad networks, digital games, enterprise collaboration platforms, blockchain, real money gaming and online music. Since 2014, Mr. Ryan has been serving as Vice President of Business Platform Partnerships at Facebook, Inc. (“Facebook”) (Nasdaq: FB), where he leads a more than 500 person global organization that manages the Payments, Commerce, Novi/Blockhain, Workplace and Audience Network businesses. Prior to his current role, Mr. Ryan was hired in 2011 as the Director of Games Partnerships to lead and grow the global Games business at Facebook. While the Director of Games Partnerships, Mr. Ryan focused on re-shaping Facebook’s games and monetization strategies to derive more value for Facebook, its users and its partners, including the addition of a Real Money Gaming offering in regulated markets. Mr. Ryan’s team helped accelerate a major trend in engagement through cross-platform games and therefore the opportunity to increase users through establishing games on multiple platforms. Prior to joining Facebook, Mr. Ryan created the new social and mobile games division at News Corp, an American multinational mass media corporation controlled by Rupert Murdoch. While at News Corp, Mr. Ryan led the acquisition of Making Fun, a San Francisco social-game start-up, that created News Corp’s games publishing division.
Before joining News Corp., Mr. Ryan founded multiple digital businesses such as Twofish, Meez, Open Wager and SingShot Media. Mr. Ryan co-founded Twofish in 2009, a virtual goods and services platform that provided developers with data analytics and insights for individual application’s digital economies. Twofish was later sold to online payments provider Live Gamer, where Mr. Ryan served on the board of directors. From 2005 to 2008, Mr. Ryan founded and led Meez.com, a social entertainment service combining avatars, web games and virtual worlds. The white label social casino gaming company Open Wager was spun out of Meez and was later sold to VGW Holdings, Mr. Ryan also co-founded SingShot Media, an online karaoke community, which was sold to Electronic Arts (Nasdaq: EA) and merged into its Sims division.
We believe Mr. Ryan’s experience will be valuable to a potential initial business combination target and would provide an expanded perspective on the digital gaming landscape. Mr. Ryan received a Bachelor of Arts from Columbia University and a Master of Business Administration from the University of California, Los Angeles.
Tom Roche — Director Nominee
Mr. Roche has more than 40 years of experience in the gaming industry as a regulator, advisor and independent auditor. Mr. Roche joined Ernst & Young (“EY”) as a partner in 2003 and opened its Las Vegas office. He was subsequently appointed as the Office Managing Partner and Global Gaming Industry Market Leader. In 2016, Mr. Roche relocated to the EY Hong Kong office to supervise the expansion of the EY Global Gaming Industry practice in the Asia Pacific region. Mr. Roche has been integral to numerous transactions that have shaped the current gaming landscape, including:
• Wynn Resorts (Nasdaq: WYNN) initial public offering: Mr. Roche was the lead partner on Wynn Resort’s initial public offering, which raised $450 million in 2002.
• Harrah’s Entertainment/Apollo Management Group & Texas Pacific Group: Mr. Roche headed the regulatory advisory services on the buyout of Harrah’s Entertainment, the world’s largest casino company at the time, for $17.1 billion.
• Dubai World/MGM Resorts: Mr. Roche headed the regulatory and due diligence advisory services to Dubai World in its approximately $5.1 billion investment in MGM. Dubai World bought 28.4 million MGM shares, or 9.5 percent of the casino operator, for $2.4 billion. It then invested $2.7 billion to acquire a 50% stake in MGM’s CityCenter Project, a $7.4 billion 76-acre Las Vegas development of hotels, condos and retail outlets.
• MGM Growth Properties (NYSE: MGP) initial public offering: Mr. Roche provided tax and structural transaction services to MGM Resorts in the creation of MGM Growth Properties, a publicly traded REIT engaged in the acquisition, ownership and leasing of large-scale destination entertainment and leisure resorts. MGM Growth Properties raised $1.05 billion in its 2016 initial public offering.
Mr. Roche also directed EY advisory services to boards and management teams for profit improvement and technology related initiatives. In addition, Mr. Roche provided advisory support to the American Gaming Association on several research projects, including those specifically related to sports betting, the revocation of The Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act of 1992 (PASPA) and anti-money laundering best practices in the gaming industry. Equally, he has assisted government agencies in numerous international locations with enhancing their regulatory approach to governing the industry especially in the online gambling sector.
Prior to joining Ernst & Young, Mr. Roche served as Deloitte’s National Gaming Industry Leader and as the co-head of Andersen’s Gaming Industry Practice in Las Vegas. In 1989, Mr. Roche was appointed by then Governor of the State of Nevada, Robert Miller, to serve as one of three members of the Nevada State Gaming Control Board for a four-year term, where he was directly responsible for the Audit and New Games Lab Divisions. As a board member, he spent a substantial amount of time assisting global jurisdiction regulators enact gaming legislation in the design of their regulatory structure. During his career, Roche has been involved in numerous public and private offerings of equity and debt securities. His background includes providing casino regulatory consulting services to casino licensees and to federal and state agencies including the National Indian Gaming Commission and the Nevada State Gaming Control Board, and industry associations such as the Nevada Resort Association and the American Gaming Association.
We believe Mr. Roche’s highly regarded reputation as a gaming auditor and advisor in the gaming industry will be valuable for us and a potential business combination target. Mr. Roche is a member of the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants and is licensed by the Nevada State Board of Accountancy and Mississippi State Board of Public Accountancy. He received his Bachelor of Science degree in Accounting from the University of Southern California.

1. Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown in A Million Ways to Die in the West
2. Jodi Benson as Robert's secretary in Enchanted
3. Bill Murray as himself in Zombieland
4. Cate Blanchett as Janine in Hot Fuzz
5. Chris Gardner in The Pursuit of Happyness
6. Miley Cyrus in High School Musical 2
7. Taylor Swift as Elaine on New Girl
8. Matt Damon as Fiona's new boyfriend in EuroTrip
9. Keith Richards as Jack Sparrow's father in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
10. Paul McCartney as Jack's uncle in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
11. Ricky Gervais as David Brent on The Office
12. Serena Williams, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Gigi Hadid, and Lily Aldridge in Ocean's 8
13. Stan Lee as a FedEx delivery person in Captain America: Civil War
14. Jimmy Buffet in Jurassic World
15. Stephen King as Bachman the cleaner on Sons of Anarchy
16. The Jonas Brothers as Cupid statues in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
17. Daniel Craig as a stormtrooper in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
18. Dustin Hoffman as himself in The Holiday
19. Britney Spears as herself on Sabrina the Teenage Witch
20. Tom Cruise as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder
21. Emma Watson as herself in This Is the End
22. Elton John in Kingsman: The Golden Circle
23. Rob Thomas and Sinbad as themselves on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
24. Lin-Manuel Miranda in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
25. Ricki Lake as the William Morris talent agent in 2007's Hairspray
26. John Candy as Gus Polinski in Home Alone
27. Judge Judy as herself on Saturday Night Live
28. Mike Tyson as himself in The Hangover
29. Brad Pitt as Vanisher in Deadpool 2
30. Hugh Jackman as Logan in X-Men: First Class
31. Clay Aiken and Chaka Khan as themselves on Phineas and Ferb
32. Dick Van Dyke and Angela Lansbury in Mary Poppins Returns
33. Wes Craven as the janitor in Scream
34. Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson, and Annie Potts in 2016's Ghostbusters
35. Kelly Ripa as herself on Broad City
36. Daniel Radcliffe as The Dog Walker in Trainwreck
37. Stephen King as the pawn shop owner in It Chapter Two
38. Billy Idol as himself in The Wedding Singer
39. Conan O'Brien as himself on The Office
40. Jim Parsons as Human Walter in The Muppets
41. Ryan Reynolds in A Million Ways to Die in the West
42. Bob Barker as himself in Happy Gilmore
43. Rapunzel and Flynn Rider in Frozen
44. Wil Wheaton as the "The End Is Near" guy in Supergirl at the beginning of the Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover event
45. Matt Damon, Sam Neill, and Luke Hemsworth as actors portraying Loki, Odin, and Thor in Thor: Ragnarok
46. Holly Robinson Peete, Peter DeLuise, and Johnny Depp reprising their roles from the original TV series in 21 Jump Street
47. Drew Carey as Ted (the head of Jeff's former law firm) on Community
48. Bill Murray as Ice Pick in Dumb and Dumber To
49. Anna Faris as herself in Keanu
50. Stevie Wonder as himself on The Cosby Show
51. Oscar Isaac as Miguel O'Hara/Spider-Man 2099 in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
52. Peter Jackson as Albert Dreary in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
53. Stephen Colbert in the extended edition of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
54. Adam Lambert in Bohemian Rhapsody
55. Selena Gomez as herself in The Big Short
56. Shawn Mendes as Macallan on The 100
57. Stan Lee in Ralph Breaks the Internet
58. Dan Aykroyd as Ray Stantz in Casper
59. Thomas Brodie-Sangster as a First Order Petty Officer in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
60. Billy Dee Williams and Carrie Fisher in Fanboys
61. Joe Biden and Michelle Obama as themselves on Parks and Recreation
62. Kurt Vonnegut as himself in Back to School
63. Burt Bacharach as himself in all three Austin Powers films
64. Brandon Crane as a board member of Hanscom Architecture in It Chapter Two
65. Nathan Fillion as himself on The Big Bang Theory
66. Will Ferrell as Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers
67. Mindy Kaling as herself in This Is the End
68. James McAvoy as Professor X, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Evan Peters as Quicksilver, Tye Sheridan as Cyclops, Alexandra Shipp as Storm, and Kodi Smit-McPhee as Nightcrawler in Deadpool 2
69. Keanu Reeves in Always Be My Maybe
70. Tina Fey as Nadya in Muppets Most Wanted
71. Taylor Swift as herself in Hannah Montana: The Movie
72. Meryl Streep as herself playing Bonnie in a musical version of Bonnie and Clyde in Stuck on You
73. Chuck Norris as a dodgeball judge in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
74. Joel McHale as Hemorrhage on Rick and Morty
75. Glenn Close as a pirate in Hook
76. Richard Branson as an air traveller in Casino Royale
77. Huey Lewis as a Battle of the Bands judge in Back to the Future
78. R.L. Stine as Mr. Black in Goosebumps

Link to article

Thursday, August 27th:

• Drive-In Movie Night: "Space Jam", August 27 Swackhammer, an evil alien theme park owner, needs a new attraction at Moron Mountain. When his gang, the Nerdlucks, heads to Earth to kidnap Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes, Bugs challenges them to a basketball game to determine their fate. The aliens agree, but they steal the powers of NBA basketball players, including Larry Bird and Charles Barkley, so Bugs gets some help from superstar Michael Jordan. Rated PG, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, 8:45pm, $25 per car

Friday, August 28th:

• Summer Concert Series, August 28 Friday night summer music series, a seasonal tradition of music, food and wine. Stonington Vineyards welcomes the area's best acts for a relazing evening of music on the outdoor patio. Guests are invited to bring lawn chairs, blankets and light bites to enjoy. Reservations must be purchased in advance. No admissions at the door. Whisker Fish, GIRLS ON THE RUN, Stonington Vineyards, 523 Taugwonk Rd. Stonington, CT , 6PM-9PM, $10
• Drive-In Movie Night: "Shazam!", August 28 A boy is given the ability to become an adult superhero in times of need with a single magic word. Rated PG-13, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, CT, 8:45pm, $25 per car.
• Twilight Concerts on the Farm, August 28th, The Tom Petty Project Impacting the course of Rock n Roll history, Tom Petty’s roots-rock guitar sound rose from the new-wave moment in the late 1970’s. Hits like “Free Fallin,” “Last Dance with Mary Jane,” “I Won’t Back Down,” “Learning to Fly” and so many more are ingrained in music history. The Tom Petty Project is a project of musicians from several bands in NY and CT who have come together to celebrate the music of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. “We do our best to represent the music of one of the best songwriters and bands the world has ever known.” Members include: Pete Najarian (Lead Vocals and Guitar), Phil Lopresti (Lead Guitar and Backing Vocals), Scott Persson (Drums and Backing Vocals), Mark Bridgman (Bass and Backing Vocals), and Glenn Cavazzi (Keyboards).Located at South Farms, the show takes place on over 10 acres of manicured farmland. The venue boasts a beautifully structured grid layout, adhering to public health guidelines while still maintaining the intimacy of live concerts. The vast spacing and outdoor conditions (open air) help reduce potential transmission and encourage social distancing. Guests are welcome to bring lawn chairs and blankets for comfortable seating and enjoying the farm field. Outside food and beverages are prohibited. Food trucks and a full bar will be available on site. Masks are not required within the guest grid. Hand sanitizing stations will be dispersed throughout the venue. High-touch areas such as door handles, counter surfaces will be regularly and consistently disinfected throughout the show. Restrooms will be cleaned and restocked regularly throughout the show. Everyone entering the venue, including guests, artists, crew and staff will be health checked including a temperature check and short questionnaire. Presented by the Palace Theater of Waterbury, Premier Concerts and Manic Presents. South Farms, 21 Higbie Rd, Morris, CT, 5pm, $20

Saturday, August 29th:

• Corn Maze: "Thank You Our Heroes", August 29 - November 1 Theme: “Thank You Our Heroes,” an appreciation for our Frontline Workers. The iconic Statue of Liberty, a symbol that unites all Americans, is adorned with a giant Heart, the symbol that universally stands for our show of thanks and appreciation for our Frontline Workers during this COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic. You will learn about nurses, medical professionals, EMT’s, fire fighters, charitable organizations, and more. The Corn Maze is four acres, and there is a total of one mile of paths and hundreds of decision points. There are 10 positions in the Maze which coincide with 10 multiple choice questions on a passport that guides the visitors, if you answer correctly you go the right way, if you answer incorrectly you get lost!. The passports have multiple themes, you can choose the subject that most interests you. We staff the Maze with Corn Cops who are there to assist as needed. The average time needed to navigate the entire Maze is 30-40 minutes. The Maze is interactive, engaging and fun for all ages. Donations This is our 21st Corn Maze. Since 2000, we have donated $1 of every ticket sold to the American Cancer Society. The accumulative total coming into this year is $623,315. In addition, this will be the first year that we will donate fifty cents of every ticket sold to the Connecticut Cancer Foundation. Lyman Orchards, 32 Reeds Gap Rd. Middlefield, CT, Mon.-Fri. 1 p.m.-6 p.m.; Sat.-Sun. & holidays 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Last tickets sold and entry of the day is 5:30 p.m. I can't seem to find a price.
• Red Barn Live: A Drive-In Live Music Concert, August 29 Grab your quaranteam and head to the farm for a night of live music as the sun sets! Just like a drive-in movie but instead of a film, live covers of your favorite hits will accompany you on one of the last evenings of summer. BYO food, beverages and comfy accessories to make your popped trunk, truck bed, car roof or front seats feel like box seats at Madison Square Garden. Headliner John Torres of the band Color Fields is a native of Bridgeport who grew up listening to artists like Cat Stevens, Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young, Jim Croce, and The Beatles. John began songwriting while at Carleton College in Northfield, MN, and has spent the last 3 years crafting a sound that is entirely his own. His music has been described as soulful, honest, playful, and tormented. Mr. Know It All, a classic rock band with Fairfield roots, and a great friend of the farm, will open the show at 5 p.m. with their covers of your favorite Hard Rock, Classic Rock, and 1990s bands. Parking has been set up to allow for six feet distancing between cars to ensure a safe and serene night in front of the Red Barn. We ask that everyone remain in/on their vehicles for the duration of the concert, if you do need to move about outside your cars, masks are required. Pre-registration is required and all proceeds directly benefit the farm. Red Barn at Ambler Farm, 257 Hurlbutt St. Wilton, CT, Doors open at 4 p.m., concert 5 p.m.-9 p.m., $100 per car.
• Fairfield Comedy Presents: Krystyna Hutchinson, August 29 An outdoor, live stand-up comedy at Circle Hotel's backyard. Bring your chairs, blankets, and picnic and bring your appetite for laughter. Circle Hotel Fairfield, 417 Post Rd. Fairfield, CT, 5:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., $25-$35
• Priam Vineyards Comedy Night, August 29 Phase out of quarantine and enjoy a safe, socially distant, outdoor comedy show. The show will take place on the spacious patio area. There will also be a tented area to accommodate safe distancing while seated, as well as the vineyard lawn. All public areas will be cleaned, wiped, and sanitized regularly as per state mandate. Come early and take advantage of food truck to enjoy dinner before the show. First glass of wine is included with the ticket. NO LIQUIDS OF ANY KIND are permitted to be brought onsite. Wine by the bottle and glass will be available to order at the bar. Seating is provided, or bring your own chair or blanket for the lawn. For more information, Priamvineyards.com Join us for an unforgettable evening of laughing and drinking, featuring some of the funniest and most talented comics from all over the northeast. The Comedy Craft Beer Tour brings the best of Northeast comedy to local breweries, wineries, and any other venue that serves alcohol throughout New England and beyond for an evening that keeps the drinks flowing, and the laughs coming. The comics have done comedy all over the globe and now bring their experiences to some of the best local venues around for an intimate evening of laughs, drinks, food, and fun. We provide the absolute funniest comedy around, featuring comics w/ television and movie credits, who perform at the major clubs and festivals throughout the country, and are some of the brightest stars of today and tomorrow. Priam Vineyards, 11 Shailor Hill Rd. Colchester, CT, 6:30-8:30, $30
• Film: "Aladdin", August 29 Enjoy classic films on the Kate’s big screen, with surround sound, in a physically distanced and safe environment. Details on what the Kate is doing to keep you safe can be found at www.thekate.org Aladdin, a street-smart commoner, pairs up with clever, confident Princess Jasmine to fight against the evil sorcerer Jafar and foil his plans of taking over the kingdom. Along the way, Aladdin learns to believe in himself...with the help of a comical, shape-shifting Genie whose three wishes can change everything. Katharine Hepburn Cultural Arts Center, 300 Main St. Old Saybrook, CT, 7pm, Adults $10, children $5.
• Drive-In Movie Night: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", August 29 Harry, Ron and Hermione return to Hogwarts for another magic-filled year. Harry comes face to face with danger yet again, this time in the form of escaped convict, Sirius Black, and turns to sympathetic Professor Lupin for help. Rated PG, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, CT, 8:45pm, $25 per car

Sunday, August 30th:

• Twilight Concerts on the Farm, August 30, Nikki Glaser Show features comedian Nikki Glaser. Nikki Glaser is one of the funniest female voices in comedy today. For over a decade at clubs across the country, and as the host of three hit podcasts, she has been honing her shockingly-honest, no-holds barred style of comedy. You can currently find Nikki flexing her over-sharing muscle as the host of Comedy Central’s first live daily morning show, YOU UP WITH NIKKI GLASER for SiriusXM, which is entirely female-produced. Nikki’s recent Netflix comedy special, BANGIN’, was released October 2019. BANGIN’ was the most watched Netflix special of the month and VULTURE included it on their “10 Best Comedy Specials of 2019” year-end list. In late January, she kicked off her nationwide comedy tour, BANG IT OUT! Previously, Nikki hosted, co-created and executive produced thecritically-acclaimedand daring comedic show, NOT SAFE WITH NIKKI GLASER, for Comedy Central and NIKKI & SARA LIVE for MTV. Nikki was a standout at the Comedy Central Roasts of Alec Baldwin, Bruce Willis and Rob Lowe, and has had memorable film and television roles in Judd Apatow’s TRAINWRECK, NBC’s AP BIO and INSIDE AMY SCHUMER, amongst others. Nikki has multiple stand-up specials and late-night tv appearances in which she jokes about her most humiliating moments as a woman in the modern world. Nikki’s past and current struggles with anorexia, depression, and anxiety are fair game in both her stand-up, and in in-depth interviews with THE HOWARD STERN SHOW, WTF WITH MARC MARON and JOE ROGAN. She has become a complete open book on mic -and not just for the laughs, she’s also adamant on being the empowering voice for women that she yearned for as a young, confused, adolescent herself. Located at South Farms, the show takes place on over 10 acres of manicured farmland. The venue boasts a beautifully structured grid layout, adhering to public health guidelines while still maintaining the intimacy of live concerts. The vast spacing and outdoor conditions (open air) help reduce potential transmission and encourage social distancing. Guests are welcome to bring lawn chairs and blankets for comfortable seating and enjoying the farm field. Outside food and beverages are prohibited. Food trucks and a full bar will be available on site. Masks are not required within the guest grid. Hand sanitizing stations will be dispersed throughout the venue. High-touch areas such as door handles, counter surfaces will be regularly and consistently disinfected throughout the show. Restrooms will be cleaned and restocked regularly throughout the show. Everyone entering the venue, including guests, artists, crew and staff will be health checked including a temperature check and short questionnaire. Presented by the Palace Theater of Waterbury, Premier Concerts and Manic Presents. South Farms, 21 Higbie Rd. Morris, CT, 5:30 & 9pm, $100,
• Dave Attell, August 30 He’s New York City’s hardest-working comic and he’s bringing a night of laughs to The Playhouse with an outdoor show on the field next to the Playhouse. Dave Attell earned a cult following with his Comedy Central hit Insomniac with Dave Attell. He has worked alongside some of the biggest names in comedy including Adam Sandler (his old friend from their NYU days) in Judd Apatow’s Funny People, he also starred alongside Amy Schumer in her hit films Trainwreck and I Feel Pretty. Dave can also be seen on HBO’s critically acclaimed series Crashing with Pete Holmes. His stand up series, Dave Attell’s Comedy Underground and his one hour special Road Work were featured on Comedy Central and Road Work is now streaming on Netflix. His film credits also include Chris Rock’s cult film Pootie Tang and his television credits include some of the best in comedy including The Simpsons, Difficult People, Bob’s Burgers, Arrested Development, The Jim Gaffigan Show, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Inside Amy Schumer, Everybody Loves Raymond, Louie, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and the list goes on. Fellow comics Patton Oswalt and Bill Burr have hailed him as the greatest off-color comedian alive. He’s a master of the one-liner, and no one is safe from Dave’s comedy. Ridgefield Playhouse, 80 East Ridge Rd. 80 East Ridge, Ridgefield, CT, 7pm, $45
• Drive-In Movie Night: "Ocean's Eleven", August 30 Less than 24 hours into his parole, charismatic thief Danny Ocean is already rolling out his next plan: In one night, Danny’s hand-picked crew of specialists will attempt to steal more than $150 million from three Las Vegas casinos. But to score the cash, Danny risks his chances of reconciling with ex-wife, Tess. Rated PG-13, The Shops at Farmington Valley, 110 Albany Tpke. Canton, CT, 8:45pm, $25 per car

FIND MORE THINGS TO DO HERE, STAY SAFE, SOCIAL DISTANCE, WEAR MASKS, AND HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!

https://www.ctvisit.com/events

The party has come into a busy port and decide to visit some other ships. Who might they discover, what might they find?

d100 Interesting Ships in a Port

​

1. Shani and Aurora's Tent of Two - The two goblin sisters Shani and Aurora sail providing services to port settlements. Shani claims to be a seer and charges 60gp for a "reading" of the future (she is not). Aurora 'The useful one' provides the service of casting identify for 20gp. She may also agree to sell some of her extensive library if offered the right price. [dweeb_bush]
2. The Bones Brothers - The bones brothers are a travelling group of jolly bards. As their name suggests they are animated skeletons. Jimbo-double bass, Timbo-guitar, Limbo-vocals, Dimbo-marimba and Franky-drums. They are very hospitable and put on a show for anyone who comes and visits them! [dweeb_bush]
3. The Lovers - A small nondescript boat lies just off the dock. The is no sign of activity on board apart from the dock inspector who is trying to find out who's boat it is. The truth is the owners of the boat died ten days ago and the boat has miraculously drifted safely into port. on a successful DC 10 investigation or perception check the party members discover two young male elves cowering in the cannonball chest. When the lid is lifted they start begging for their life. If pressed they reveal that the crew was attacked by sirens, the majority of the crew succomed to the siren's calls however the two young boys, deeply infatuated with each other did not care for their temptation. They ran out of food last night and thought they were surely doomed! [dweeb_bush]
4. The Crows - A large black boat rests in port, neatly secured off one of the more expensive jettys. The most defining feature of the boat is that it is bustling with activity, not by humanoids but 3d12 black ravens. One wears a small captains hat and appears to undersatnd the party. If the party casts speak with animals they discover that the crows were awakened through a series of trials on a new spell aimed to mass awaken a group of creatures. The crows have varying degrees of intelligence and are all chaotic neutral alligned. The crows rebelled from, Hignory Flip, the wizard running the trials on a small island about 2 days sail from the port, and stole his ship. [dweeb_bush]
5. Captain Redbeak! - A suspicious longship hovers low on the water. There is a steady stream of humanoids entering the covered boat and leaving a few minutes later with a small package. The ship belongs to Captain Redbeak, a feirce pirate captain who runs a drug trade: the drug in question is a relatively cheap drug called "Peak Water" and is collected dew from mountaintops, it gives the user a high that lasts 1d4 hours and gives the user a d4 of bardic inspiration. It costs 10gp per hit. The ship is manned by 2d6 Bandits, and if threatened or reported they will attempt to kill the party in defence of their lives. [dweeb_bush]
6. Crazy Mr McGee - A delerious man stands warding off the dock guards with what looks like a loaded blunderbus. He's yelling about his notorious reputation as a savage pirate and keeps claiming they have come to "Take away my princess". The princess he's referring to is his boat- he imagines that it is a glourious gallion but in reality it's just a rowboat. If the party manage to subdue the man the dock guards thank them and offer to buy them a drink later that night in the tavern. [dweeb_bush]
7. A Con??? - The players are drawn to a commotion hidden behind a crowd of people. A large goliath (Manneo) seems to have taken a small dwarf (Skalgrouth) hostage and is threatening to slit his throat if the dock guard do not meet his demands "I'll bloody well kill 'im if you don't give me what I want: 100gp worth of rubies and free passage out of this shit hole!". In reality the goliath and dwarf are working together pulling off this stunt at various ports in the area, so far, to great success! [dweeb_bush]
8. The Rat's Den - The players follow a stream of rats on board a decrepid looking riverfairing vessel. When they make cross into the canvassed interior they see an old kobold playing the pipes, he seems to be a rat-catcher. If the party interrupt him in his ritual he turns the a swarm of rats against the party and runs off into the port. [dweeb_bush]
9. Seeking Refuge - A smallish sloop titled 'The Diamond Endeavour' pulls into port, it's sinking and fast! A crew member (Emery Green) jumps onto the dockside and is yelling for help. The vessel was struck by a great storm while at sea and they sustained damage when they brushed by a reef. Luckily they werent wrecked but unluckily they could not repair all the damage with materials on board. They've been bailing for hours and can no longer bail as fast as the ship is filling up with water! If the characters wish to help they can make a DC 13 group athletics check to bail enough water to stop the crew from having to jump ship and leave it to sink. If the players are successful Emery thanks them profusely and offers them a map to a shipwreck they were on the way to dive at before the storm hit them. "It's rumoured that this is the wreck of the old pirate lord, Feather Toothed Bill's ship and may hold riches beyond imagine!" [dweeb_bush]
10. The Gilded Sail - A group of merchants, all of various races, each offering unique, and expensive, magical trinkets. True to their name, their sail is actually a thin sheet of gold, and the rest of their ship is covered in valuable metals and gems. It’s also very well armed, as are the merchants aboard. Keep an eye on the rogue when this one’s around. [Dragon_Overlord]
11. The Patchwork - A large ship which seems to have been destroyed and repaired numerous times with whatever material the crew had, from birch wood to copper metal to even welded armor and weapons. Speaking of the crew, they appear to be a mishmash of Kenku, Kobold, Halfling, and the occasional Tabaxi and Goblin. The captain appears to be a raccoon by the name of Majos, which, if your party stumbles upon the question of why and how a raccoon is a ship captain, she would respond with “a salty mage who didn’t know how to win a simple game of cards had a tantrum.” She would then offer the party a game of cards in which if the party beats Majos, she rewards the party a hefty sum of 100 GP, and if any party member is any of the races listed above, she rewards an additional magic item (DM’s choice) and offers a position to the party member for them to join her crew. Accept and the party is taken to an additional encounter to an island for treasure. Decline is acceptable and Majos would accept any favor from the party. [SpyroAndToothless]
12. The Feyr Winds - An elegant ship that carries goods and treasures from far off Elven lands run by a mixture of elven and faerie creatures. Their most illustrious goods are fruits that can do many things such as heal wounds, cure poisons, or even granting stat bonuses for a minute! (Vendor: Fruits are magical and can take on the effect of any potion you want.) [OSpiderBox]
13. Gnasher's Maw - A tribal-ized longship driven by a "merry" band of lizard folk. They obviously don't understand personal space or social norms, and are seeking people to help them with a Giant problem. (Hook: if your party is having downtime while they look for their next quest, this could be that hook they need.) [OSpiderBox]
14. The Esteemed Steamboat - Artificers run this marvel of steam engineering. However... it's currently in a state of disrepair. Looks like heavy damage from some monstrosity. While they're extremely proficient in fixing it, they have no money and are looking for work to pay for supplies. (Allies: party could hire some of them for an upcoming task/adventure, or even offer to fund the repairs in exchange for favopassage.) [OSpiderBox]
15. The Mainstream (You’ll never need a bigger boat!) - A casino cruise ship featuring a large game room, several bars, comfortable rooms, a pool and a hot tub fueled by a continual flame spell. It is captained by a tall, brown scaled lizardfolk woman named Kepesk. The dealers are kenku bards repeating rules and barking (“Step right up, try you’re luck at the Wheel of the Goddess of Fortune!”) There is also a large vault of gold on board, guarded by lizardfolk soldiers. One particular patron is looking for a few helping hands for a bit of a caper now that he knows the guards patrol schedules. [spiff2]
16. Rocinante - A relatively fancy and expensive ship being up kept by the Quijano family and their servants. The last living member of the family is a young man, obsessed with swords and thirst for adventure. He agrees to let the team borrow the ship, in exchange for him coming with them on their adventures to wherever they’re going. [DrFishPhd]
17. Deep Blue - In a corner of the harbour, a seemingly empty ship. Sails are neatly furled, crew seems to have left the ship mere hours ago. On the deck, small openings allows the visitor to enter the hold, in it, some barrels, hammocks. Beside one of the hammock, a book, quite old, written in an old version of Common language.In the middle of the hold, some blankets cover a group of trunks, under these trunks, another opening ... leading to another hold. In this hold, vessels, old fashioned lanterns, and some parchment written in ancient language. At the bottom of a bulkhead, an opening, some stairs gong down in another hold.Wood seems ancient, and strange figures are carved into the wooden parts of the boats. Some ancient runes are covering pillars. In the middle of the hold, a panel with nails made of some unknown metal, once open, stairs going down in the dark. From the shadows, the noise of little splaches. [doctor_providence]
18. The Mosquito - Run by a crew of githyanki pirates. What seems like a normal battle vessel, once on the open ocean, the sails begin turning outward and suddenly the ship begins gliding above the waters surface at fast speeds. [GladiatorJustin]
19. The C.H.U.D.- The Shell of a massive deceased Dragonturtle floats next to the dock, it’s ends sealed by mechanical claws, and a viewport fitted into the front. The C.H.U.D. (Chelonian Hammerworked Underwater Dirigible) was designed by the Gnomish Inventor Hector Copperspark. Crewed by gnomes and halflings as they are the only ones small enough to man the complex machinery crammed into the turtle shell, the C.H.U.D. is a mercenary vessel that hires out to perform naval attacks. Hector just got a lead on a new job, and he needs some muscle to pull it off... [Lakandalwa]
20. The Temple - A ship that serves as a mobile temple to a water deity. It goes from port to port to carry services. [SMGB_NeonYoshi]
21. Cloudscraper - One of the gems of the Romish Empire's formidable fleet, the Cloudscraper is a powerful warship specially constructed for defeating sea monstrosities of all kinds. Developed after the Queen's late husband was killed by an island feeder (colossal sea beasts known for swallowing swaths of land whole), this vessel with an imposing tower-like bridge is loaded up with all types of harpoons, cannons, and magical armor. Some even say that, thanks to a powerful magical engine, the top half of the ship can separate from the brig to chase after flying beasts attempting to get away. With how famous it is, plenty of townsfolk are eager to get a look at the shining bronze beast of a boat. But what's it doing here of all places? [MildlyConcernedGhost]
22. The Wistful Wanderer - A small sloop with a single cabin in the middle of the deck. A skilled observer might note that the sails and rigging as well as the rudder occasional shift to right the ship or tighten and secure themselves more. The cabin is actually permanently enchanted with a Mordenkainen’s Magnificent mansion and the ship is handled by a permanent crew of 20 unseen servants. It is owned by the Wandering Wizard Wesley Wrycroft. He sails the world at his leisure, seeking trade for scrolls and arcane artifacts. He also regularly hires adventurers to gather difficult to reach artifacts from unworthy hands whenever he finds a lead on the location of such a relic. [Lakandalawa]
23. The Magic Brawler - A merchant ship with a very strong looking captain comes to port. If the party chooses to look at their items the captain will challenge the party to an arm wrestling match. Beating a DC 20 strength check will award the party one minor magic item from the captain's personal stash, and beating a DC 25 strength check will award a magic item of the DMs choosing. [TheInstitute4]
24. The Friend Ship - A comfortable looking wooden ship full of people just hanging out on the deck. While aboard this ship you find yourself under the effects of the Charm Person spell to make everyone friendly with each other. [Stormkiko]
25. The Dragon Ship - Captained by a Dragonborn with a dragon head on the prow, this ship is a merchant vessel crewed by a muscular Dragonborn who sits on the deck smoking a long pipe. The ship has put down for repairs after grazing a rock which tore a few holes in the starboard side. [AndreTheSalty]
26. Kender - A rag tag ship filled with swashbuckling Kender. The ship looks like it was made from bits and pieces of many different ships.The Kender are very drunk and have no idea how they got to this port. [Slainlion]
27. The Poor Captain - A ship that looks broken and near sinking, in truth it's one of the most armed ship on the seas. It uses help calls or just their non threatening look to lure ships close so that they can attack them. [DungeonsAndScouts]
28. The Fisticuffs- A medium sized rowdy ship sits a little way out from the dock. The ship has two massive hands stemming from the hulls on long mechanical arms. The hands have an AC of 25, a damage threshold of 5, and 30 health each. They ship can leave the water and "walk" on the hands. The ship is primarily a combat ship and is crewed by a band of mischevious gnome tinkerers. In addition to attacking (+10 to hit: 4d6 + 8 bludgeoning damage) the hands can also cast Bigby's hand once per day. [dweeb_bush]
29. The Grain Barge - A large barge with a dirt floor and wheat growing. A single old man lives on the barge, and sells wheat for 2 pountds per copper piece. In the hull of the barge, accessible only by a trapdoor in the old man's shack, is a large pile of carrots. [serious_tabaxi]
30. Sea Rot - A large gallion speeds into port with a yellow flag raised. As soon as they dock and have paid the docking fee the captain, a large half-orc woman called Mishka, starts calling for help! She reveals that over half of her crew has contracted a strange plague and she fears for her life. She came to port to seek medical assisstance but fears she is infected so dares not go ashore.The plague - Sea Rot - Is highly contagious and air-borne: if a creature comes within 5ft. of an infected creature they must succeed on a DC 17 Constitution save or become infected themself, symptoms take 1d10 days to manifest. The symptoms of Sea Rot are gruesome, starting with the extremities of the body, the body starts depositing water in cytoplasm-like sacks. At the end of every long rest the creature takes 2d6 cold damage and must succeed on a DC 13 Constitution save or suffer 1 permanent constitution damage, the infected creature also has disadvantage on strength and dexterity checks. It can only be cured by magical means that remove a disease.If the party fetches help she rewards them with a small favour and a pouch full of gemstones worth 50gp, in addition, if the party can cure the 20 crew members and contain the plague she offers them passage anywhere, offers an additional 100gp, and her cutlass- a +1 scimmitar that also increases the holder's charisma by 2 while holding it. [dweeb_bush]
31. Grok's Galley - A medium-sized ship piloted by a Tortle named Grok(He Understands Things)11. The ship is a 2 sailed vessel with few cannons and other wartime mechanisms on them. The crew is very resilient and full of ragtag non-humaniods. Gnolls, Dragonborn, Ratfolk etc.He's about to set sail back home as he's heard of this group of ratfolk that are trying to overthrow the government in his home town. [VKilledTInternet]
32. The Abigail - An old warship thought to be lost that had been renovated and turned into an inn. It’s run by two very attractive siblings, who turn out to be sirens and one night, they take the boat out to the sea and eat all the passengers. [TardyTortoise]
33. The Comfort - This massive galleon is an independent freebooter that refuses to pay allegiance to any nation or city. Housing a collection of skilled healers and clerics, the Comfort sails to areas struck by famine, plague, and war, providing healing to whomever requests it. The sailors aboard the vessel have all sworn the same oath, to defend the healers and their patients with their lives no matter the cost.While the Comfort usually is accepted at any port, it sometimes comes under attack when it travels to war torn regions and as such is well equipped to defend itself should it come under attack. [Lakandalawa]
34. Arabian Traders - An exotic merchant vessel filled with silks, spices, and strange spirits is disembarking. A dashing arabian prince asks basic questions about the city, potentially becoming enamored with one of the party members. He is rich and slightly crazy, and believes anything can be bought for a price. This gets him into trouble when he tries to buy someone's hand in marriage to add to his collection of luxuries and many wives back in his home port. [jfractal]
35. Deep Sea Scavengar - Salty, untrustworthy sailors (who look like pirates) are disembarking/unloading from their latest voyage. They have been at sea for months, and haven't seen a woman in that long - they openly hit on and jeer at any females in the group with a CHA score of 11 or higher. One sailor tells a fanciful story about sirens that they encountered on their voyage, killing 3 of their men (it's hard to tell if they are serious or not). [jfractal]
36. His majesty's secret - A heavily outfitted, small warship is in a secret mission from the king. Heavily armed/armored guards stand watch over the docks, turning away everyone, and refusing to divulge their purpose here. [jfractal]
37. Smallminded Yokels - A small, local fishing vessel filled with xenophobic, small-minded fisherman. The make disparaging remarks about any non-humans if approached. If the party gives them lip, they will get jumped by the crew the next time they wander the harbor at night. [jfractal]
38. Mussel's Mate - A large fishing vessel that has seen it's better days. Rigging is in tatters, masts are spliced together, mismatched patchworks sails. Oddly enough the captains quarters are extremely well apportioned not at all like the rest of the ship. [hamlet_d]
39. The Wayward Lady - This ship has an all female crew. The species on board are the outcasts from different lands. They serve as a place for any who are lost to have a home, though men don't tend to stay for long for some reason. After a successful DC 20 insight check it can be found that men on board the ship for 4 months become women. [42firehawk]
40. The Gypsy - On the deck is what appears to be a stage where beautiful female dancers perform to music provided by a small band of bards. One of the dancers, who is known as the Storyteller, tells stories through song as the rest of the dancers provide her the visuals/backup dancing. Her voice is noticeably quite low for a woman, but is very enchanting nonetheless. An insight check with a DC20 will reveal that all of the performers are cross-dressing men. [Crystalized13]
41. The Stable - A ship of decent size that carries horses (or any other kind of mount in your game) from port to port and sells them at a decent price to tired and/or injured travelers. It is crewed by a family of six (mother is the captain, father, three sons, three daughters) and a few extras the gathered along their journey, namely; a nice old man who wants to see the world, a young woman with a fiery attitude and an obvious crush on one of the party members, a muscular Dragonborn who has obviously seen some action who now tends to the horses, a bard who offers entertainment to the crew on board and is particularly liked by the children, a mute Druid who helps the horses and is good friends with the Dragonborn (who interprets their sign), and an ex-pirate who loves the sea but wishes to leave their past behind them. [Crystalized13]
42. The Penny Bucket - The penny bucket is barely a ship. It's looks like a wash-bucket with a wooden T nailed to it and has a large white shirt as a sale. As far as you can tell there's no way to steer, its an utter mystery to you how it ended up in port, let alone why the dock authority would charge it to dock. When you peer inside the bucket you see a small red pseudodragon peacefully sleeping on it's hoard, which consists of 3pp, 16gp, 103sp, and 56cp, 6 rubies worth 30gp, and a dusty diamond worth 300gp , and a small magical trinket of the DM's choice. If woken up the Pseudodragon wakes up and fiercely snarls , cowering, and protecting its stuff. The dragon will trade any of the items in its hoard if the adventurers offer something of value, or a large amount of food. If the party wants to adopt the dragon along with it's hoard it may be won over with gifts and a DC18 animal handling check. [dweeb_bush]
43. The Crafty Raft - A makeshift raft has floated down the coast and slammed into the dock. There is no one on board and it appears to be unmanned. There is a note fixed to the mast with a tiny butterknife. The note has directions, "at the lightning stump follow the stream and rescue us". The raft, and attached note were made by crafty goblins attempting to lure creatures down the coast right into a trap. The goblins have made finding their hideout incredibly easy. With a DC 5 nature (tracking) check the party can find the tree and follow it down to the river. The real trap is a series of pitfall traps cleverly hidden in and around the stream. If the adventurers continue along the stream they must succeed on a DC18 Perception check to avoid it and must succeed on a DC14 Dexterity save or fall 10ft. into spikes and take 1d6 bludgeoning damage and 2d6 piercing damage. They are then accosted by 2d4 goblins. [dweeb_bush]
44. The Illusory Boat - Moored in the port is a huge gleaming golden pirate ship, there must be at least 50 richly dressed halflings manning it. There's a long gangplank extending to the dock. Suddenly there's the noise of several cannons firing off. The guards rush over to the ship, fearing that they are attacking the port. They scream at the ship- "come down here and speak to us you cowards, we can't board your ship without permission but we will call the town guard!" A voice calls from the ship yelling insults at the guards aiming to infuriate them till they board the boat. If any one steps on the gangplank they must succeed on a DC 14 Dexterity save or fall into the water, as they do the ship dissapears and it's revealed that the entire ship is a major illusion cast by three giggling wizards who run away from one of the neighboring piers. [dweeb_bush]
45. The Question - There's a metallic ship floating in the water. From it you hear loud beeping, chirping, and whirring noises coming from it and it's attracted a large crowd of 3d10 townsfolk, who are fearfully inspecting the ship. As you approach closer you begin to hear a voice in all the artificial noises. You hear it asking thousands of questions, in thousands of voices: "who am I?", "why am I here?", "What's that ugly thing over there?", "what is the meaning to life", "Why are there people watching me?", and other creepy remarks that give the idea that the ship is conscious and scared. When the adventurers look into the boat they see a blinking green, light with a swirling marbled texture on it. The light turns red and starts asking questions very specific to the party. Before long it begins speaking in tongues and a flash of blinding light appears. The adventurers make a DC13 constitution save. On a failed save they are blinded for a minute and take 4d4 psychic damage or half as much on a successful save. When the adventurers look again the ship is gone and there is just a small gemstone floating in the water, whispering to the party in tongues that are unintelligible. [dweeb_bush]
46. The mistake -A small boat that seems to have been renamed fairly recently. The - ake part of the name is in a different calligraphy and color from the rest of the name [Ido97]
47. The Barnacle - An old weathered gun-ship bearing it's scars from many a battle, but nevertheless being no worse for the wear. Built strong from some ancient hardwoods and it has been well maintained to the best a ship of that age could be. The crew is a rowdy bunch of salty Dawgs that work as hard as they play...and they fight even harder. They may squabble amongst themselves, but don't you dare mess with or insult one of their brotherhood. They have come to port ready to sell their wares, collect their bounty and spend it irresponsibly. All so they can find their next mission and do it all over again. [gothic03]
48. The Bauntoo - A strange ramshackle ship occupied by amphibious humanoids that spend near their entire lives out at sea, trade in weird cool stuff they've found deep diving into cool underwater locations like ocean ruins, and wont be at port for long. [Swerve-Bro]
49. The Leviathan - A huge ship listing hard to one side, its mast broken halfway up and the sails drooping to the deck. All of the wood is dark brown, slimy and rotting out. It looks like someone pulled a shipwreck from the bottom of the sea and it remained afloat by some miracle. If the party inspects the ship, they will find it has already been thoroughly looted and all that remains of the crew are skeletons. (Whether the skeletons are animated or not is up to you). The dock guards will tell you that a huge fog rolled in last night and this ship was there when the fog lifted. [painterinsomniac]
50. The Menagerie - A decent sized merchant ship, this one is run by all sorts of different creatures though none are humanoid. This ship was originally a travelling circus showing off all manner of awakened animals who were kept captive. The animals are quite amiable and will offer carry passengers in exchange for assistance selling their goods in markets. [painterinsomniac]
51. The Coffin - A casket-shaped ship that contains the body of a 21-ft giant. The top of the casket has been fitted with sails and rigging and is manned by a crew of humans who tell the party that the giant hired them before his death. He always wanted to sail around the world, so half of all his treasures would be given to the crew who sailed him around the world. The money is to be awarded upon the crews return to the giant's family home, and the crew must have an artefact from each land to prove their voyage complete to the family and get their loot. Of course, the crew isn't bothering with actually sailing around the world - they're content to just make port for a year and trade people for ancestral trinkets so they can return to the land of giants in a year and take their massive loot. They've been given a hefty advance to cover the cost of their long voyage, so money is no object. Adventurers can sell their items if the item is from a distinct background (eg a Dwarven Warhammer, an Elven scroll of healing, etc). [Anceaus]
52. The Lighthouse - This ship is captained by a young cowardly wizard and an equally nervous-looking crew of young human men. Atop the central mast is a large lighthouse light, which the owner uses to keep other ships far away from him while at sea so as to avoid any trouble. If approached, the captain will immediately begin grovelling and handing over loot at the sight of the party's weapons, offering them any onboard services he can think of for his crew to do for them (shoeshines, blade sharpening, armour mending).Turns out it's all an act - the captain is actually a conniving trickster who transports and deals in Light Blue Light, a magical drug that induces paranoia/twitchy behaviour but grants a 1d6 bonus to Strength for a period of 1 hour. [Anceaus]
53. The Nest - A vaguely ship-shaped bramble of collected branches and tar, this vessel doesn't look like it should even float, much less sail. It's run completely by Kenku's. They love to collect shiny objects and every nook and cranny of the nest is filled with glittering pieces of treasure and trinkets, among which are a range of magical items.Anything can be bought for a price, but what they especially want is for the adventurers to help them get a shiny old chalice that they've spotted beneath the waters of the harbour - they aren't big swimmers. [Anceaus]
54. The Half-Pint - An average looking, 2nd-rate ship run exclusively by halflings and gnomes. The crew are rolling a large number of barrels off the ship. A DC 13 Investigation Check will uncover that the Half-Pint has almost twice as many decks as a regular ship of that size and the diminutive crew use the extra space to smuggle illegal magical ale that has explosive side effects. If approached, the first mate (a scruffy gnome named Sebastiano who trusts people a little too easily considering his trade) will ask the party if they are 'for hire' or just want a cask.If the party is looking to buy, refer to the http://dndspeak.com/2017/12/100-random-potion-effects/ to determine what effect their beer has.If they're interested in the job, he would have them guard a supply wagon transporting contraband IPA to an old wizard who lives in an ivory tower in the nearby forest for a sum of 25gp each. What the party doesn't know is that the wizard is in the process of transitioning into a Lich, and the beer is the magical conduit by which he has been transforming. The wizard has the stats of a Revenant if the party chooses to fight him. If an unconscious creature drinks the illegal beer, they will be revived and become Undead. [Anceaus]
55. The "Blu Moon" - A two masted Caravel. An ocean going merchant ship, that has recently been damaged by pirates, but escaped because they dumped all cargo overboard. The ship is being repaired and expected to be ready in two days. The captain, Quintus "Full" Moon, already has agreed to transport 24 bales of dyed fabric to [INSERT DESTINATION] but is now looking for some more cargo for the same destination. The rest of the crew is: first mate Eldan Wind (m half-elf), bosun Karrla (f half-orc), helmsman Olfie Re (f half-elf), cook Carlin Zwiet (f gnome), and four human sailors: Frenk(m), Ra(f), Tjoris(m) en Huub(m). Huub is a 12 year old boy on his first trip. [Jeeve65]
56. The Leatherback - A merchant ship from a faraway land. It is made of a beautiful reddish wood and adorned with many colorful flags. About half the crew is made up of tortles and the other half consists of various other races they picked up on their travels. They are very friendly people and will happily buy you a drink or two in exchange for stories of your adventures or of the places and cultures you’ve experienced. If they take a liking to you they're even willing to give you free passage to wherever you'd like to travel... as long as that place happens to be the next port along their voyage. [TheMightyLoaf]
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Company Name	Title	City
Pizza Hut	Delivery Driver	Hurley
MGM Resorts International	Casino Host Specialist (Tunica)	Robinsonville
CalArk	CDL-A Solo Company Truck Driver Jobs	Bay-Saint-Louis
CalArk	CDL-A Solo Company Truck Driver Jobs	Byram
CalArk	CDL-A Solo Company Truck Driver Jobs	Forest
Ashley Furniture	Distribution Associate - Ecru, MS	Algoma
Aflac Regional Office	Insurance Representative - Tupelo, MS	Belden
Ashley Furniture	Heavy Industrial Distribution Associate - Ecru, MS	Belden
Ashley Furniture	Distribution Center Laborer - New Pay Increase!	Belden
Aflac Regional Office	Insurance Representative - Tupelo, MS	Blue Springs
Aflac Regional Office	Insurance Representative - Tupelo, MS	Guntown
Gulf Winds	CDL A Regional Company Truck Driver	Senatobia
Wiseway Transportation Services	CDL A Truck Drivers	Baldwyn
Wiseway Transportation Services	Regional CDL-A Truck Driver	Ecru
Wiseway Transportation Services	CDL A Truck Drivers	Okolona
USA Truck	CDL-A Owner Operator Truck Driver	Hernando
USA Truck	CDL-A Truck Driver, New Regional Pay Scale	Horn Lake
CRST International	CDL-A Owner Operator Truck Driver	Pascagoula
CRST International	CDL-A OTR Flatbed Owner Operator Truck Driver	Pascagoula
CRST International	CDL-A OTR Flatbed Owner Operator Truck Driver	Starkville
J & B Services	CDL-A Company Truck Driver - Generous Home Time	Aberdeen
Mvl	CDL-A Company Driver Truck Driver - Home Weekly	Amory
Btc	Truck Driver CDL A - Great Pay!	Arkabutla
Btc	Truck Driver CDL A	Arkabutla
J & B Services	CDL-A Company Truck Driver - Generous Home Time	Hernando
Mvl	CDL-A Company Driver Truck Driver - Home Weekly	Holly Springs
Btc	Truck Driver CDL A	Lake Cormorant
J & B Services	CDL-A Company Truck Driver - Generous Home Time	Olive Branch
Mvl	CDL-A Company Driver Truck Driver - Home Weekly	Ripley
Gulf Winds	CDL-A Regional Owner Operator Truck Driver - Make $150K Gross	Senatobia
Ashley Distribution Services	Regional CDL-A Truck Driver	Amory
Ashley Distribution Services	Regional CDL-A Truck Driver	Booneville
Schneider	Class A CDL - Over-the-Road (OTR) Tanker Truck Driver	Desoto County
Ashley Distribution Services	Regional CDL-A Truck Driver	Ecru
Schneider	Class A CDL - National Dedicated Truck Driver	Forrest County
LeafFilter	Installation Subcontractor	Hernando
Cardinal Logistics	CDL A Truck Driver	Hernando
Cardinal Logistics	CDL A Truck Driver	Horn Lake
Schneider	Class A CDL - National Dedicated Truck Driver	Jones County
U.S. Customs and Border Protection	Border Patrol Agent	Ocean Springs

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in ms. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Continuing…
That being handled, I leave a wakeup call for 0430 as I want a shower and a couple shower-sunrisers before we leave. It takes me about 10 minutes to pack. I call home to let Es know what’s going on. She’s not in, so I leave a message. Same for my friends Rack and Ruin of the Agency. They’re thrilled so far with my reports.
The security forces here are absolutely going to freak if they reverse-review my phone records once we leave.
Covert? Schmovert. I’m too old for playing such games.
The next morning, after a sudsy shower and a couple of vodka-infused shower-beers; I’m in the lobby with all my kit, checked-out, and waiting on the tour leader. My passport was stamp-stamp-stampity-stamped here at the hotel, which I thought was weird, but after spending time in this here country, not all that unusual.
At 0545 on the dime, the tour bus pulls into the lot. Without a word, bellhops grab near all my kit and escort it out to the waiting bus.
After tipping each extravagantly, I fire up a huge cigar, and wander around outside, loitering by the bus. I see members of my team at the front desk, checking out. Everything’s been paid for already, they just have to sign documents that they’re not secreting hotel towels or televisions or errant nationals in their luggage.
It’s a weird country.
I see them loading box breakfasts for us as well as box lunches on the bus.
Hell, they’re actually doing ‘field trip’ correctly.
If the bus us fueled up, we can go for days at this rate. There are several coolers bearing the hotel’s brand and I sidle over to see what they’re carrying.
Case after case of iced-down beer and a couple of cases of various high-octane potables; and over there? A couple of boxes of mixers…ah, soda…pop…carbonated citrusy goodness.
“OK”, I sigh, “All is as it should be. Now the field excursion may begin.”
My teammates filter outside as does their luggage. I suggest they get out and keep what is necessary for preliminary outcrop excursions; such as a backpack or knapsack, hammer, acid bottles, field notebooks, Brunton compass, lighters, cameras, personal tobacco products, and the like in the bus. That way, we don’t have to go tearing through all the luggage at every stop.
I pull out a bundle of 100 Hubco™ large geological dual-sample bags. That’s right: ‘dual’ sample…
I distribute these to everyone on the team. I ask that they devise their own numbering system and make absolutely certain I have a copy of it when we’re done. I’ll be correlating and curating all the samples when we get back to the world.
I ask that a cooler of drinks are left on board the bus, rather than in the hold. It’s humid, sticky, and muggy today. We must expend valiant effort in remaining hydrated and this will help.
Luckily, the bus has on-board lavatory facilities.
We are seated on the bus, my 10 collective team members, myself, our 4 ‘guides’, ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’; our driver, relief driver, one incredibly shy national geologist, Myung-Dae Soo, and four of the shiny suit clan.
The hotel wheels out a large cart laden with pastries and a huge coffee urn. A bit of a “Bon Voyage” from the casino and bar crowd, as they put this together for us when they heard we were leaving.
“Hey. That’s really nice of them.” Dax notes.
Dax handed over our raw “elevator waiting” funds as we didn’t have time to run it through the casino-machine before we left. We donated over 75,000 won to our friends at the bar, casino, and massage parlor. The ones delivering our going away present assured us it would be divided equitably.
“It best be”, I laughed, “You never know when one of us might be back!”
There was a collective horrified look on their faces for the merest moments. Then they all laughed and said that they hoped we would return someday soon.
“Nice folks”, I thought, “Stupid as shit country, but nice folks.”
We had all separately left tips for the room maids, bellmen, and matrons back before we checked-out.
There was a flurry of handshaking and goodbyes. Not a bad hotel experience here in the so-called land of Best Korea.
Serious dark coffee was passed out amongst the riders, but Ivan, myself, and Dax were already giving one of my emergency flasks a workout.
Ivan smiled and said: “We drink our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterward. HA!”
Ivan and I are cut from the same bolt.
Faux-doughnuts, pseudo-bear claws and fake-long johns all distributed; the bus is fired up, and rumbling. We are exhorted to watch our drinks as we pull away from the hotel and into the wilds of Northern Korea.
I’m humming away:

On the road again -Just can't wait to get on the road again,
The life I love is bashing rocks in the field with my friends.
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again.
Goin' places that we've never been,
Seein' things that we may never see again…
--
“Rock?”, Dax inquires.
“Yes?” I reply.
“Do please shut up.”
“Music hater”, I muse and comply.
We’re rolling down the highway, as it were, headed generally north. We all have cameras of one kind or another; and rather than relieve us of them, they quietly and without much fuss, slowly darken the windows.
They claim it’s to keep the sun out and temperatures down, but just before things go all black, we’re seeing sights and scenes of the true North Korea. They’re trying to keep us from seeing that en route to the outcrops.
This new bus has some sort of electronic tint-control gizmo for the windows. However, if one has a pair of polarizing sunglasses, as all good field geologists do, you see right past that and can view the passing scenery unencumbered.
I return from a quick beer-recycling loo trip and am amused to see 10 Western scientists, sitting in a blacked-out bus, all wearing polarizing sunglasses.
It was just the surreal note this trip needed as we left the confines of the capital city.
We traveled north, and the empties pile began to grow. We had a few trash bags we had liberated from the hotel, but the shiny suits were very insistent that every empty can, bottle, and bag, yes they had beer in bags…had to be repatriated to a box in the far back of the bus.
Evidently, they either were paid a bounty on each container or were accountable for each vessel. They were soon to realize just the capacity for drink that a group of 11 seasoned very Senior Field Geologists, and one stowaway geologist-in-training can amass.
As we ply our way northward, we see the agricultural side of North Korea. The contrast between rural areas and the capital was striking. There were miles of rice paddies being harvested by people with sickles in their hands. And no cars on the highway. It was most destabilizing for this Westerner.
I think we saw a maximum of three tractors, as most of the work was done with ox power, there was very little evidence of rural electrification. Oh, hold on. We saw many more tractors, I should correct that: we saw three running and not rusted into oblivion tractors.
The farmers we see are using equipment that is quite literally medieval - single-share plows pulled by large, cranky bovines; sweeping sickles to bring in the harvest, and twin-engine, bilateral, botanical-fired ox-carts to transport it. It’s hard to believe that this third-world level of poverty exists in the same country that’s capable of building rockets, nuclear weapons, and tall, well-appointed hotels.
But when we stop at a motorway service station for fuel - a bizarre alien spaceship-like building squatting over the empty carriageways - we do encounter a jangmadang, or semi-official market. Here they are selling cans of knock-off Vietnamese Red Bull and Malaysian-made King Cobra™ Cola.
It reminds me of Russia right after the wall fell. Off the Trans-Siberian Railway in Krasnoyarsk, the Gateway to Eastern Siberia. You can buy Chinese hams, Chinese sodas, Chinese knock-off liquor, and those bloody delicious little bullets of Vitamin-C, Chinese mandarins.
Here, it’s similar. You can get most anything you desire, except it isn’t of Korean manufacture. That stuff is even too shitty to pawn off on tourists.
Instead, it’s knock-off Malaysian, Chinese, or Indonesian beer, wine, or soft drinks.
“Tiger-brand energy drink. Now with 40% more real tiger.” Here? I believe them.
Vodka from everywhere not known for its vodka distilling prowess. Rural hotel shops sell nastily stale crisps, gummy gummies, filling-ripping ‘chewy’ taffy or caramel, and biscuits with a severely limited choice. Rural hotels do not have full electricity so beer is warm and often tossed on the table, waiting for tourists to arrive - as is the food. We were warned to be prepared for cold rice, cold fish, cold potato – and plenty of kimchi and tofu.
Back on the road again, we’re passing small burgs that are not on any of our maps; even the ones we traded for back in the hotel that are specially marked: “For Internal Use ONLY!”.
They were amazingly the same. Clean. Bright. Uncluttered. And attended by cadres of prim, uniform-clad, though non-military people. They were all doing a day’s work keeping everything neat and clean.
There were no cars, trucks, forklifts…only rickshaws and ox-carts. However every one of these ‘towns’ were identical, and exactly, as Ivan pointed out, ‘X’ number of minutes apart.
“Watch! Is so!”, Ivan said. We passed one of these villages, and exactly 3 minutes later, an exact copy. Three minutes later? Another one. 3 more minutes? Xerox-city.
“What the fuck?” Dax asked.
“Potemkin village.” Comrade Dr. Academician Ivan replied.
A Potemkin village is any construction, literal or figurative, whose sole purpose is to provide an external façade to a country which is faring poorly. It is for making people believe that the country is faring better, although statistics and data would suggest otherwise.
“Russia pioneered the process,” Ivan noted with no small amount of pride. “During Cold War with West, entire cities were built, moved, raised, and razed. Ever hear of Krasnoyarsk-25? Atomic Research City? Supposed place of weapons study and manufacture. Huge ‘accident’. Entire city demolished, total populace relocated supposedly, after massive nuclear calamity.”
“Is that true? Cliff asks.
“No. Not at all.” Ivan smiles, “Deliberate misinformation. At least for K-25. It was diversion for actual towns where accidents; nuclear, biological, or worse, had happened. West so concerned about K-25 because it was big, near big capital city of Krasnoyarsk and suitably located out in the taiga. Easy to spot, easy to watch. Kept Western satellites busy while real towns of I-33, U-10, and AR-13 out in the forest were quietly demolished and people relocated or mass buried after some horrible, horrible accidents...”
“You think it’s the same here?” I asked Ivan.
“No, Dr. Rock”, Ivan smiled, and helped himself to my freshly constructed, but untouched, Yorshch, “This is all fake and bluster. Make West think everything is all A-OK, is that right idiom?”
“Yep.” I reply, “Precisely.”
“Make West believe all is OK and green”, as he winks at me, “And bustling and growing. Cover up what is real case here. We all see it and we see right through. Shoddy even for Asians.”
We all had to snicker and smirk as the shiny suit squad, who sat up at the front of the bus, and were not supposed to be listening; reacted like every cell in their bodies were just hit with a drop of pure lemon juice.
“Comrade Dr. Academician. Decorum, please.” I snickered.
“Oh, fuck them!”, Ivan replied, “I am old Russian. They try and pull burlap over my eyes? St. Petersburg? Moscow? Krasnoyarsk.? I’ve been there, seen them. They think this display of tawdriness…Even goofy American and Canadian can see the fakes they are. Britisher? I’m not so sure…”
“Damn, Doctor., I said to Ivan, “You’re just making friends all over the planet today.”
We all knew it was in jest; but the shiny suit squad certainly had their feathers ruffled and either didn’t care or wanted us to know we were under their observation.
“Fuck them twice”, Ivan said, “Ask them for bottle opener. I’m too lazy to search for my field jackknife.”
I hand him my pocket Leatherman and he pries the top of another bottle of ‘Budveiser’ beer.
“They can’t even make fake the name correctly”, he smirks and drains the bottle.
‘Town’ after ‘town’ and even that parade gets uninteresting. We’re headed north and finally come to a crossroads.
The bus driver, who must be a regular paranoid-maniac because he actually stopped to look for oncoming traffic, which we have seen precisely none since leaving the capital city, made a hard right. We’re heading back and up into the hills, leaving the bright lights of the big city far behind.
After an hour or so of driving, we pull off to the left-hand side of the road.
“Rock, Ivan, Cliff…holy shit, look at this!” Dax was uncharacteristically excited.
It was an open field that leads to a series of low outcrops of polychromatic, obviously sedimentary rocks. Magentas, greens, purples, rust-reds, browns, blacks, olive greens…holy shit. A real sedimentary pile.
We filed out of the bus with our field gear. The shiny suit squad started in with a bullhorn.
“You will wait for tour guides!”
“You will listen to group leaders!”
“You will not stray from the designated paths set up…”
No one heard them as the group of 11 remaining Western geoscientists were already across the highway and hieing for the exposures like outcrop-seeking multiple-warhead re-entry vehicles.
“You must wait!” we heard from exasperated voices back at the bus. “You must stop!”
“You must piss off!” Cliff said, “This is what we’ve been waiting over two weeks to see!”
“They are very angry with us”, Myung-dae the young Korean geologist said. “I find that just too bad.”
“And you are?” I asked.
Myung-dae Soo, the young Korean geologist, introduced himself.
“Well”, I said, “Welcome aboard. I’m Dr. Rock.”
“They are very, very angry”, he repeats.
“So? Are you tagging along to give them internal reports?” I asked.
“No, Doctor”, he replied, “I too am a geologist. I want to get away from those assholes and see some real rocks.”
“Who are you with?” I ask, “What group?”
“I am 5th-year student at Pyongyang College. I am not officially here. We were told in class that you were coming. I decided to see if I could join you. This morning, I was standing by bus and they thought I was hotel worker or orderly. I was given cooler full of beer and told to find place for it on the bus. I did and after that, just stayed in the back. I am stowaway. I am ashamed, but I had to see for myself. But, I like Western field trips so far!”
“No shit? Well, then”, I said, “Double welcome aboard. None of this ‘I am ashamed’ shit. You’re a geologist, but you haven’t even worked through your first field-evening get-together with us. But this is no pleasure cruise. It’s real work, real geology, real serious science shit. You savvy?”
“Yes, sir, Doctor Rocknocker from Sultanate in the Middle East.” Myung-dae smiled.
“And you fucking stay close to me”, I smirked.
I fired a couple of BLAAATS! from my portable air horn.
“Field Meeting! Field Meeting! Assholes & Elbows!” I called aloud.
Everyone gathered within earshot.
“OK, guys, here’s the deal. We do not know how long we’ve got here. So, let’s split up into teams. Geophysicists, go do your structural thing. Stratigraphers? Field relations. Geologists? Let’s go talk to some ronery-rooking-rocks. No offense, Mr. Myung.”
Myung-dae was laughing up a storm. He got that reference. He later told us all around the campfire he thought ‘Team America’ was a “fucking hilarious movie.”
Oh, we are going to be a real bad influence on this poor kid.
The groups spontaneously broke up into 4 or 5 sub-groups. They headed for areas they thought were important and they were photographing, measuring, pounding on rocks, and arguing within minutes.
“No, you idiot! It’s continental. Look at those adhesion ripples.”
“The fuck you know. It’s only a little low-level eggbeater tectonics. Where the fuck would you get continental collision-size energy around here?”
“Oh, the fuck you say. It’s non-marine. Those are mud cracks. Look at the sandy aeolian infill, fer chrissake.”
Formal? Proper? Detached Doctors of Geology?
Not when you’re in the field. It all goes out the window when different opinions collide like subducting plates.
“The music of my people!” I said to Morse.
“I thought that was the ‘Safety Dance’?” he chided.
“We’re a big family. We can have more than one.” I snickered.
We’re wandering around the site, with individual purpose.
We are looking for or looking at items of interest.
We’re hacking at the outcrops.
We’re all looking at…things.
It’s hard to describe. Get a load of geologists or geology students out of the office, lab, or classroom; stick them out on a bare expanse of heavily weathered rock and it’s simply…numinous.
We’re rebuilding worlds here.
This rock says this.
This rock says that.
And you’re not fluent in that dialect. Here, let me interpret for you…
We’re at each other’s throats, in the academic-metaphorical sense. Tempers have been known to run hot. There has been the occasional bloody nose or rocks sailing down an outcrop without the obligate “HEADACHE!” call. Hammers and Marsh Picks have ended up swimming without the owner’s knowledge.
But once we’re back; settled in the hotel room, tavern, or around the campfire, we’re all a Band of Brothers again. It’s an odd thing to watch; as if you’re not of the clan, you’d need an interpreter. It defies all boundaries: political, sexual, educational, geographical, linguistic, social, et cetera.
We’re all geologists first. We share the common scientific bond of Geology.
That’s why Geology is the First Science.
Plus we tend to drink a serious fucking whole bloody awful lot.
We’ve all been on that ‘crawlin’ home puker’.
We’ve also been to the ends of the earth: the deepest depths, the highest heights, we deal with the greatest pressures, the hottest temperatures; we’ve been to the mountain, we’ve seen the elephant, and we’ve held a bear’s nose to dogshit.
We wear the scars attained in our travels like badges of honor.
We’re God-Damned Scientists.
Back off, man. Geologist comin’ through.
Anyways, I’m looking at the bedding-plane boundaries between the purple unit and the underlying olive-green unit. The upper unit it looks, to me, continental in origin. Fluvial, perhaps. The lower unit is much finer-grained. Marine mudstone, perhaps? But what age?
The cadged Korean Geological maps are worse than useless. They never would go down to the outcrop scale. Consulting them, they don’t even note these exposures in a field sense.
Myung-dae, who is working about 35 meters down-section from me calls out, “Doctors! Sirs! Look here! I’ve found something!”
We all wander over as he is hacking away at the dusty, eroded rock. He stands and dusts off his find.
It’s a very large, nearly 1-meter diameter, coiled fossil cephalopod.
I wander over for a closer look. Dax, Cliff, Morse, and Ivan do as well.
“Blimey! Will you look at that? Outstanding, Mr. Myung!” Cliff says.
“Well, that confirms it. This layer, at least, is marine. Look at that suture pattern”, I say, dusting off an unweathered bit.
“Look at the radius of coiling.”, Cliff joins in.
We’re slowly wresting information out of this silent witness.
“Ornamentation?”, Dr. Ivan asks. “Knobs, bosses, and excrutions?” Oh, yes.”
In unison, we declare: “Hyphoplites!”
Morse adds, “And therefore…these rocks are middle Cretaceous. Marine. Not bad…”
“Need to get some samples for geochemical analysis. Dig deep, gentlemen, we need unweathered samples for TOC (Total Organic Carbon) content.”, Dr. Erlen Meyer notes.
With that, we have a relative age of the rock, a good idea of its depositional environment, and therefore extent, ideas of field relationships, and an indication of some of its fauna.
Could it be source rock worthy?
Samples? Best get diggin’, Beaumont.
That unit is right smack in the middle of this pile of rocks. Dax and I will work up-section and Ivan and Cliff will work down-section. We’re going to see what lies above, what lies below, what trends we can discern, and develop an idea of what happened here some 100 million years ago.
This is what happens when you get geologists out in the field with the proper amounts of field gear, outcrops, and alcohol.
Overall, the deeper down-section, and therefore, earlier in geological time you go, the more marine the rocks are. Conversely, the higher you go in the column, i.e., up-section, into younger rocks, the more continental it appears.
We find fragments of marine fish fossils, sea-crocodile scutes and teeth, heaps of mosasaur coprolites, i.e., fossil shit piles, and other indications that the lower, older rocks are Lower Cretaceous ocean basin-fill.
But up higher; we find mud cracks, rain prints, land turtle shells, land-snails (Bellerophontid gastropods), and what may actually be a fossil feather. All indications of a more continental, i.e., fluvial (river), floodplain, lacustrine (lake), and paludal (swamp) deposition.
That’s my particular bailiwick.
I’m ‘elephant walking’ along the upper outcrops looking for fossils. You basically bend over at the waist and sweep from left to right as you take exaggerated step after step, scanning the ground looking for…well…it takes years, but once you see it, you never forget it.
“Fossil sign”.
A disjunct endemism. Something not in situ. Something out of place. A bit of a different, out of context color. Out of context texture. Out of context size. Out of context context.
Something that looks like it shouldn’t ought to be there.
I’m picking up 1 cm. square hunks of what look like an ordinary rock. I taste them. Well, I stick them to my tongue. If it liquefies and runs away, it’s ordinary mudstone, shale, or the like.
If it sticks…well, it might just be fossil bone.
“PTWTWOO!”
“Damn right, Rock”, Cliff says from behind me, “Fucking North Korea tastes terrible.”
“Still, it’s the best way I know to…” I paused.
“Got something?” Cliff asked.
“Look here.” I said, “Anthill. Big, nasty buggers. Look around the edges. Pieces of flat, cream-colored rock on this gaudy purple stuff. Tongue test? They stick like cockleburs. Let’s look upslope, see if there’s a drainage…”
There it was, a nice little drainage incised about 1.5 meters deep into the nearly horizontal rocks we were walking on.
“Any float?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Cliff said.
We followed the weak, little drainage that was cut into the outcrop, up another couple of meters.
There were very scrappy, very small, very scattered pieces of that same cream-colored rock. Some were ornamented with a scroll-work or some sort of striations. Most un-geological. More biological. We followed the trail, up here, around here, over there.
Cliff noticed it first, a soccer-ball sized lump of completely out-of-place crème-colored ‘rock’ working its way out by gradual erosion of the variegated pastels of the continental rocks upon which we were treading.
I got there first and began to clear the area with my Estwing.
“Careful. Careful”, Cliff admonished.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mind your Mincies. [Mince pies = eyes]”, as I’m swinging away at the reluctant, reticent, rocks.
The excavation grew, slowly. From the rounded dome, we could see small sutures that had developed…
Then condyles, fenestrae, then more ‘bone’. Then a jaw, teeth, vertebrae…
“HOLY DOUBLE-DAMN SHIT!” I tootled my air horn. We needed the group to see this.
It was a skull. A dinosaur skull. A small, non-avian dinosaur skull.
Everyone has crowded around and looked at the small quarry we had just built.
“Whatcha got, Rock? Cliff?” Joon asked.
“Fuck me, but I think we’ve got us a dinosaur skull,” I said.
Professor Doctor Academician Ivan walked over and cleared the area.
As Professor Emeritus, he had pole position priority.
“I agree.” is all he said.
I cleared the area and let others take a whack at opening up the quarry.
We may have been low on power tools, but we had a surfeit of opinions.
“OK,” I said, “Let’s look at the facts…”

1. Age? Cretaceous. Probably lower to lower-middle Cretaceous.
   
2. Continental deposits. That’s very fine sand we’re hacking away. Fluvial, without a doubt. Or, possibly aeolian; there’s no such thing as a geological certainty. Dunes? Ephemeral creeks? Low floodplain? Geo-talk… .
   
3. Small size. Potentially a juvenile?
   
4. Nope. Not a juvie. Sutures are closed, fused. This is, well was, an adult; perhaps a subadult, given its size.
   
5. In situ? In place? Or washed in?
   

Hard to tell when all you’ve exposed is half the critter’s brain box.
“Look at that!” Myung-dae exclaimed, “Squamosal bones and the inner parietals…temporal fenestrae. It had a frill; a small one.”
“OK,”, I said, looking closely at the exposed scrappy remains, “Fucking-A Bubba. Nailed it.” I said, giving him the thumbs up.
“Ceratopsian. Look at those greens-grinder molars. There’s some small osteoderms on the skull; knobby old bastard. Early critter.” I continued.
Others looked around and confirmed my observations.
“Reminds me of Protoceratops from when I was back in Mongolia,” I said.
Dax chimed in with, “Looks something like Psittacosaurus from back in the Cretaceous Belly River of Canada.”
Drs. Ivan and Morse agree. “Most assuredly. It is definitely proto-ceratopsian. Young adult, as Dr. Rock notes by the cranial sutures. Do they have a record of proto-ceratopsians here?”
Myung-dae replies, “I have read reports of Korean proto-ceratopsian found in South Korea. Not long ago, 2019, it is called…ah… Auroraceratops. It is a genus of bipedal basal neo-ceratopsian dinosaur.”
“Bipedal?” I query. “Well, there’s a fine how do you do. All the proto-ceratopsians I’ve known were obligate quadrupeds.”
“Well”, Ivan, Dax, Cliff, and Morse agree, “That should give the shiny suit squad something to report. That’ll keep them the hell out of our hair for a while.”
We photograph each step as we excavate the critter. It’s more or less in situ, buried where it fell. Probably killed by a sand slip off a dune, or a river sandbar slip and burial. It’s not complete, but we do have the skull and a good portion of the post-cranial elements to about just before the pelvis. A good pectoral girdle, skull, jaw, frill, forelimbs, forefeet…easily half-a cute little herbivorous dinosaur. About the size of a smallish Highland Coo or large Great Dane.
We flag it with the team particulars, it’s GPS position, and carefully rebury the animal. We don’t have any of the equipment nor time to excavate it properly, but we can conserve it. Of course, we’ll be informing the proper authorities of our discovery.
I have an absolutely ancient Polaroid instant camera. Before re-internment, I take several pictures of our “Koreasaurus”, as we’ve dubbed the animal, with items for scale; like a hammer, cigar, and oddly enough, a photographic scale. Then I get a photo of the whole crew standing around, drinking warm beers from their individual day packs, smiling about the find ‘they‘ made.
We hear the melodious tootle of the bus’s horns. We make sure to pack out all our trash and wander back to our terrestrial transport.
“You were gone too long!” the chief shiny suited character goes all ballistic on me.
“Watch yourself, Herr Mac.”, I calmly said, “You’re going to burn your nose on my cigar.”
“You left without your handlers…err…guides!” he fumed.
“Hey, Scooter. Cool out. We’re geologists. We never get lost.” I said.
It sometimes just takes us longer to get back than it took us to leave…
“Your impertinence will be reported.” He smoldered.
“Report this, Mother Chuckler”, I observed and held out the pictures of our newly discovered Koreasaurus.
“Show those photos to your handlers,” I said in a mocking tone. “We found a brand new species of God-damned dinosaur for you geezers. It took us less than two hours. You can spin it that it’s a new, never-before-seen species of very specialized dinosaur found right here in beautiful Korea del Norte. Be quite the scientific coup, don’t you think? Trust us. We won’t say anything.”
He immediately shut up and went into conference with the rest of the shiny suit squad.
“Doctor”, one of the clan covert asked, “This is a new dinosaur?”
I had a thunderbolt of an idea.
“Oh! Yes, it is. I’d stake my reputation on it. You’ve had no concerted search here for the beasts and well, with the normalizing of relations between your country and the world, it allowed your specialists to perform real science. In fact, on the bus is the young North Korean geoscientist who made the discovery.” I said. “Give me a minute. I’ll go and get him. I think he was off taking a shi…ah, using the lavatory. Just give me a minute.”
I did have an idea. A wonderful idea. A wonderfully evil idea.
Back on the bus, I ordered the doors closed.
“Gentlemen! Ears and eyes! Please.” I said loudly.
Continuing…
“The shiny suits have their knickers all a-twist because we don’t want to listen to them; the assholes. Fuck that. I’ve got an idea. Let’s make our young acolyte here, Mr. Myung-dae Soo, a national hero. He would probably get his ass in a crack for sneaking on board the Western bus today the way he did. Well, double fuck that. Let’s all say he found the dinosaur. Let him take the glory for the homeland. No one else will ever need to know.” I said smiling.
“Fuck Yeah! You bet! Замечательное! Ihmeellisiä! Maravilhoso! Geweldig!”
Good to know we’re all on the same page. Geologists. You can always count on them…
“Mr. Myung-dae Soo? Front and center. Time to go and become ‘Hero of Best Korea’.” I smiled.
He was absolutely terrified.
“Doctor…I …don't…wait…no…” he stammered.
Cliff, Dax, Ivan, and I trotted him out to confront the shiny suit squad.
“Don’t worry, Myung. We’ve got your back. Trust us.” I said in a low conspiratorial tone.
The shiny suit squad turned as one and gave Mr. Myung the Stink Eye treatment.
“Here you go. The man of the hour. Mr. Myung-Dae Soo, young geologist and up and coming paleontologist.” I say loudly and with the utmost honor.
They look at him and the Korean erupts in rapid-fire staccato bursts.
Cliff just wanders in and interjects, “Yes. Righto. Top form. Found the float. Tracked down that dino like he was on safari. Highest marks. Good man!”
Dax adds more fuel to the fire. “Like he knew where to go, knew where to look. He’s a natural.”
Dr. Academician Ivan blustered forth: “Excellent scholar. Excellent field man. Banner geologist.”
I couldn’t have added more. The shiny suit squad was gobsmacked.
I asked Myung-dae what they were saying.
“They were talking about reprisals. Reporting to authorities. Then, they stopped. You have them completely confounded.” He said.
“How so?” I asked, quietly.
“Between an international incident where we don’t listen to our handlers and this potential important scientific discovery.” Mr. Myung-dae reported, trying hard to parse the evolving situation.
“Yes”, I added to Ivan’s bluster.
To the shiny suits: “I’ve worked as visiting Dinosaurian Vertebrate Paleontology Curator at all the major American museums. This is a find quite unlike anything known. It is a watershed discovery. It will help unravel the evolution and distribution of the clan Dinosauria for the whole Korean Peninsula. Perhaps, even with international impact on the recent finds in China.”
I laid it on with a trowel.
I hit all the buzzwords.
“Yes. Yes, perhaps.”, the head shiny-suiter said. “I will report this bit of very good news to the proper authorities. Myung-dae, with us. We require more information.”
“Ah, we’d prefer him to ride in back with us if you don’t mind. Scientific courtesy, old man. He needs to be classically de-interviewed after such a find.” I insisted, making certain I stand as tall, wide, and menacing as possible while smiling like a damned Cheshire cat, one smoking a very large cigar.
“Very well. We are not far from our evening stop. We can talk later.” He agreed.
We all moseyed, laughing silently, back to the bus; literally supporting our young hero Mr. Myung-dae as he seemed to have gone all wobbly of late.
Myung-dae was ashen-white. He looked like he had just given birth to a basketball. He was visibly shaking.
We get on the bus and I whip up a stout Yorshch for the young hero of the hour.
“Here! This is for you. If you’re going to be a world-class geologist, you’d damn sure better start acting like one.” I smile broadly.
There were hoots, cheers, and cat-calls.
Beers were popped, bottles uncorked; cigars, cigarettes, and pipes lit.
“Damn Skippy!” some anonymous reveler added.
Myung-dae slurped a good half the drink. I offered him a cigar. He stopped shaking enough to accept the novel offer.
Remember “crawlin’ home puker”? He’s taken his first step into a larger world.
OK, just to recap. Here are the dramatis personae left on the bus…
Bus driver (Kim) and his relief (Won).
My team and I. That’s 11 Western geoscientists: Morse, Cliff, Volna, Ack, Viv, Graco, Erlen, Dr. Academician Ivan, Joon, Dax, and myself.
Then there are our guides: Yuk, No, Man, and Kong.
Our stowaway hero geologist-in-training: Myung-dae Soo, aka, “Mung”.
And the four members of the shiny suit clan: Pak, Mak, Tak, and Jak. At least, that’s the names we used when we addressed them.
The bus was rumbling down the deserted highway. We were headed more or less due east, passing the occasional Potemkin Village. They knew we cracked their code long ago, so they didn’t bother with darkening the windows any longer.
We are passing a series of highway road cut outcrops. We’re only going approximately 35 or 40 miles per hour. Suddenly, Morse jumps out of his seat and runs up to the driver.
“STOP! STOP! Back up! We almost missed it!” he barks in heavily Russian inflected English.
The driver, shaken to the core, just slams on the brakes. The bus grinds to a stop. Good thing there’s no traffic out here.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
Jak of the suit clan jumps up and asks “What is the problem?”
“How could you miss that?” Morse shouts. “Huge fault. Mineralization. I saw that from a glimpse. We must return to investigate.”
“Is not possible. We have appointment at the hotel.” Jak replies.
“Fuck that!”, Morse shouts. I guess he’s just really into faults…
I wander up and try to defuse the situation.
“OK, guys, cool out. Let’s be reasonable. Do it our way. Go back to that road cut. We spend a half-hour there then we go on to the hotel. The hotel will still be there when we arrive, won’t it? Even if we’re a bit late?” I ask.
Jak looks to Pak, who converses with Mak and Tak. They know they’re outgunned.
The driver shifts the bus into reverse and we back down the luckily deserted highway over a mile to the outcrop in question.
We had to admit, it was a mother beautiful normal fault. In perfect, textbook cross-section.
Morse and Joon were on it like white on rice; given the mineralization along the fault plane. All sorts of implications for the thermal and geological history of the area. But with just one exposure like this, more or less just a real interesting geo-oddity.
We spent precisely 30 minutes at the exposure, and when our handlers requested we re-board and head to the motel, we complied like nice, normal sort of folks.
I believe the appropriate maxim here is: “Lull them into a false sense of security…”
Once more down the road we travel. Beers popped, bottles uncorked; you know, the usual.
Forty-five minutes later, we pull into, I kid you not, a replica US of A 1950s Motor-Inn.
“Mr. Myung”, I ask, “What the hell is this?”
To be continued…

1. The Maiden- A random person you have met throughout your adventure becomes hopelessly, obsessively in love with you
2. The Wizard- You may choose a spell from the first level list of wizard spells and once per day that spell may be cast without expending a spell slot. Using it at higher tiers still uses higher tier spell slots.
3. The Mountain- You permanently grow by one size class. The only way to undo this is a wish spell.
4. Sloth (As in the Sin)- You fall into a deep sleep and will not wake by any normal method. You are magically sustained and your body does not age while this effect is active.
5. The Mime - You lose the ability to speak. Can only be cured by a wish spell (By TheDirtyDeal)
6. The Sun - You glow brilliantly like the sun and shed bright light in a 60 foot radius around you, and dim light up to 180 feet. (By TheDirtyDeal)
7. The Comedian - +2 To charisma skill checks and saving throws. -1 to all others. (By QuintTheWarlock)
8. Wrath: You gain the flaw "I am quick to anger, driven to extract vengeance from those who have wronged me and a real bear first thing in the morning." (By oddtwang)
9. Greed: all non-magical coins, trade goods and other currency, gemstones and art objects on your person, held in your containers (including e.g. a bag of holding), stored within your legal property or held on your behalf in a bank or other institution under your name are instantly replicated 10 times. The copies are identical and indistinguishable, including any identifying features, flaws or serial numbers. If there is insufficient space for them to be held, the objects spill out, rupture or otherwise force their way into the world. (By oddtwang)
10. Gluttony: You develop an insatiable hunger. Your normal requirements for sustenance are doubled and you find it difficult to stop consuming. If you do not currently require sustenance, or if you are unable to satisfy your newly increased needs for 48 hours, you develop a need to consume something unusual, taboo or difficult to acquire. (By oddtwang)
11. The Void- (opposite of the Sun) Light seems to dim when you are around. If you are in bright light, it becomes dim light for a 60 ft radius around you. If you are in dim light, it become dark for a 60 ft radius around you. Creatures can not see you, unless they have true sight, if you are in dim light. (Similar to the Darkness spell) (By CreepShowGirl666)
12. Serpents: You immediately contract a poison that will kill you in 1d10 days. The only way to cure it is with a potato from a different continent. [Your character and party know this] (By LongIslandBall)
13. The Orchard:You gain an apple, that, when bitten into, heals itself over time, effectively granting you infinite food. However, if another person were to bite the apple, it would become just a normal apple. [Your character does not know this.] (By LongIslandBall)
14. 4 Leaf Clover: the card turns into a 4 leaf clover that is unaffected by the use of force or magic and can only be destroyed by the use of the wish spell or Divine intervention. The creature in possession of this clover is imbued with great luck and gains the following abilities. You may pick one ability where any ability checks, skill checks, attack rolls, or saving throws that you make using that skill automatically succeed for 24 hours. Using this feature drains the available luck from the artifact for 1d4+1 days rendering it useless for that amount of time after the 24 hours expire. Once per day, you can change any dice roll you make excluding d100 to be equal to x-1 where x is the number of sides on the dice. This must be done prior to finding out the result of the action intended by the roll. Once per short or long rest, you have advantage on one ability check and one saving throw of your choice. (By Ed_Radley)
15. Lust- Every person you meet of the opposite sex must make a dc10 wisdom saving throw or immediately try to seduce you from now on.
16. The Orchestra: summons 20 unseen servants that repeat everything you say/sing. If you cast a spell with a verbal component, it counts as being one level higher if applicable. You also have advantage on performance checks. The Unseen servants do not obey your commands and last until killed. (By Capt_Bread_Beard)
17. The Liar - you gain advantage on Deception checks but you are unable to tell the truth — your party has to roll Insight checks whenever you reveal to them information (By Researcher_Boi_314)
18. The Crystal: Your skin crystallizes. Your speed decreases by 5 feet and you are put under the effect of a stoneskin spell. (By ThanosHeffley)
19. Uno Reverse Card - Allows the user to hold up the card to deflect things back at the person who the card is facing, once per short or long rest. (By Abs0lutely_N0thing)
20. The Cornicopia: you no longer need to eat, drink, sleep, or breathe, and you do not age. (By Clickclacktheblueguy)
21. The Fates: You gain the Lucky feat, but you have also gained The Fates disdain. When you re-roll your dice using the Lucky feat roll an additional 1d4 and subtract it from your new roll. (By True_Empire91)
22. The Smith: This card immediately transforms into a +3 Warhammer that deals an additional 1d8 fire damage on a hit. The person who drew this card becomes proficient with Warhammers and loses all other weapon proficiencies. (By True_Empire91)
23. The Coin: Immediately after drawing this card the users hand is burned and takes 1d4 damage and drops the card as a reaction to the pain. As the card is falling to the floor it transforms into a coin. If the coin lands face up (Heads) the person who drew this card doubles the amount of currency they are carrying. If the coin lands face down (Tails) the person who drew this card has their currency vanish. The Coin itself is now worth 50gp. (By True_Empire91)
24. The Beast: Once per day, you can Wildshape. Upon transforming back into your normal self you take 1 point of Exhaustion. (By True_Empire91)
25. The Leviathan: A great beast has your scent. It will arrive in 1d10+5 days or at the DM’s choosing. Only you can slay the beast and all damage not caused by you directly or indirectly (such as through traps) is halved. (By Astr0C4t)
26. The Casino: You are transported to the demiplane of luck. This demiplane consists of a silver road in a desert with extravagant casinos glowing with displays of light against the permanent night sky. The casinos themselves are owned by the permanent residents of the plane, known as the Casino Barons. Barons include everything from human crime bosses to powerful wealthy monsters such as cloud giants, red dragons, and genies. The casino's appearances match with the baron or baroness who owns it. (By Sporedian)
27. The Blank: When you draw this blank card it begins to emit bright light and smoke, than dissapear along with whatever equipment you had on you. The card then drops to the floor. The next person to pick up the card sees a stylized image of you printed on it. They will recieve an item, ability, or personality trait from your character sheet at the GM's descretion. The effects can be reversed with a wish spell. (By Sporedian)
28. The hermit: You gain disavantage on any charisma checks. You gain advantage on any wisdom checks. Can be undone by a wish spell. (By awesomemanswag)
29. The Clock. You gain a small tattoo of an oddly-shaped arrow somewhere on your body. The tattoo is imbued with magical power, and will appear as a transmutation effect when viewed with Detect Magic. As an action, you may invoke this power to cast Time Stop. Once the spell ends, the power is lost forever. (By Ae3qe27u)
30. Judgement - you forever feel sickened when in the presence of evil-aligned people, and forever anxious around those of chaotic alignment. (By ergotofwhy)
31. Temperence - you can no longer feel intoxicated, no matter how much you drink. Furthermore, you are made immune to damage/drain of your int, wis, and cha, but also immune to effects that raise those abilities (By ergotofwhy)
32. The world - you are teleported to a random location on the other side of the world (By ergotofwhy)\
33. The Pack, 1d6 hell hounds come every 1d10 days to try and bring the person who drew the card down to the nine hells. The player can hear the howls, and is frightened for 1d4 rounds when they come. (By MeerkatArray)
34. The Blind Man: your character is now permanently blinded, physically losing their eyes, and gains tremorsense up to 30 feet. (By Silverdragon701)
35. The Artist: your character is now exceptionally skilled in a random art(painting, cooking, singing, etc.) and is known around the world for their talent. (By Silverdragon701)
36. The Fib: your character is now a pathological liar and must make a Wisdom saving throw to tell the truth about anything their audience doesn’t already know(I.E, can state the obvious, but must roll to explain a plan or tell a secret truthfully). (By Silverdragon701)
37. The goblin: Permanently gain +2 to dexterity and Constitution Permanently lose -2 to charisma and intelligence (By fwimmygoat)
38. The Mirror- whoever draws this card immediately understands to an instinctual, spiritual, emotional, and/or philosophical degree why their most hated enemy/enemies are the way they are and are doing what they're doing. They are able to completely sympathise. (By AndrewRequiem)
39. The behemoth- when next the character is slain in battle, they shall rise again with temporary hit points double that of the nearest healthy enemy. For the battle, they lose the ability to cast spells, but their Strength score temporarily increases to 30 (+10). When the last nearby enemy dies, they return to normal, and are rendered unconscious, but stable at 1 hit point. (By RollinThundaga)
40. The Mask: You immediately, and permanently change races into a random race. You retain all of your memories of your previous life, but lose all ability score changes and abilities your previous race granted you. You gain all ability score increases and/or abilities that this new race grants you. (NoireGarde)
41. dead weight - a 5 ton steel cube appears with shackle welded onto it. you are shackled to it. you cant move five feet from the cube until its shackle is removed. if it is removed, the cube and shackle disappear. (By Tobymaxgames
42. the fondler - you can cast mage hand if you couldn't before. this doesn't require a spell slot. (By Tobymaxgames)
43. the substrate - a boulder, weighing 3d12 tons appears in above a random person around you, and promptly falls down. its made of some type of metal ore. it its in your possession, and you may do what you will with it. (By Tobymaxgames)
44. the captain - if the drawer of the card owns some type of vehicle (cart, boat, etc.), they will physically merge with that vehicle. a wish spell is undo the merge. (By Tobymaxgames)
45. The Holdout - after drawing, the location you take a long rest at is converted into some type of fortified structure. the structure takes a form that makes scene for its location. a forest will grow a great tree fort. fields become palisade camps. mountains spring forth castles to rock the heavens. caves dig themselves out and become elaborate dungeons. the one who draws the card is considered the owner of this structure. however, 3d10 days later, the structure is attacked by some force. it can be a powerful wizard, a dragon, an ork warband, etc. if the structure is not defended, that force will destroy it. (By Tobymaxgames)
46. The Jinx - You are rendered mute until someone says your name three times. You cannot speak or cast any verbal spells during this time. (Your party does not know this). (By Jorster)
47. Greater Balance - The next time you roll a d20 and roll a critical success or fail, you receive an outcome beyond all expectations. The impossible happens despite all likelihood. Example: On a success, the Queen not only agrees with your theories and plans for the coming battle but trusts you over her advisors. On a fail, the Queen looks disgusted at your sad attempt of sharing information and banishes you to the dungeon for your ignorance just to get you out of the way. Should a critical success happen during combat, the number of damage dice is multiplied by 4 instead of 2, but if a critical fail happens, you or an ally are damaged by double the dice. This affect is a one time use. (By WitchDearbhail)
48. Null: The deck of many things vanishes. (By Sirvantis)
49. Discord: For the next hour your character cannot speak common, elvish, gnomish, dwarven, etc.(By Sirvantis)
50. Yes: For the next two weeks your character cannot decline any offers for samples, work, quests, magic items, etc. and cannot say the word "no" or similar. (By Sirvantis)
51. Butterflies: A force of immense change you may use this card to change one small moment in the past. This will have rippling effects through time to the present day. Choose wisely. (By faerieunderfoot)
52. The Damned- you are immediately teleported to one of the nine hells roll a D10 on the roll of a 10 you are trapped between two of the hells roll two more D10 and reroll all 10s. (By minecraftchickenman)
53. Surface: Your body and soul are bound to a random humanoid within 60 feet, determined by the GM. Your appearance changes to match that of the chosen humanoid and neither of you may move more then 120 feet away from each other, and attempting to do so will result in running against an invisible wall. A Greater Restoration or Remove Curse spell cast at 5th level or higher on either one of you ends both effects. (By Cruye)
54. Talking Head: You become incapable of saying, writing, or otherwise expressing a truthfull message instead, any attempt to do so will result in you telling a lie instead, usually the opposite of what you meant. You are not affected by the Zone of Truth spell, as these lies are not deliberate. A Greater Restoration or Remove Curse spell cast at 5th level or higher on either one of you ends the effect. (By Cruye)
55. Father: A Will-o'-Wisp (MM 301) with the memories, mental ability scores and alignment of a deceased relative appears within 10 feet and is bound to you as a familliar. The Will-o'-Wisp acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In combat, it rolls its own initiative and acts on its own turn. It can't attack and loses the Shock action, but it can take other actions as normal. As an action, you can temporarily dismiss your familiar. It disappears into a pocket dimension where it awaits your summons. As an action while it is temporarily dismissed, you can cause it to reappear in any unoccupied space within 30 feet of you. If the Will-o'-Wisp dies, it is gone forever. (By Cruye)
56. Experience: Your mind speeds up, enhancing your senses and reflexes but leaving you more exposed to mental assault. You gain advantage on Dexterity saving throws and Wisdom (Perception) checks, but gain disadvantage on Wisdom saving throws and vulnerability to psychic damage. A Greater Restoration spell can end this effect. (By Cruye)
57. Door: A magical book appears in your posession, containing the entirety of your memories written on it's pages, even ones you have forgotten through non-magical means. The book updates itself whenever you finish a long rest. Turning a page will always take you to the memory you'd like to see, and the book will always appear to be the same size, regardless of how many pages it has. You or a creature that has stolen the book can modify your memory by writing on the book, either writing fake memories or crossing or tearing out real ones. If the book is completely destroyed, you lose all your memories for 1 week, before getting them back, excluding fake memories from the book, and including memories that were removed from the book. (By Cruye)
58. Diamond: You can cast the Creation, Greater Restoration, Mass Cure Wounds or Wall of Stone spells once per day. (By Cruye)
59. Company: You gain the service of twelve Guards (MM 347) who appear in a space you choose within 30 feet of you. The guards are of the same race as you and serve you loyally until death, believing the fates have drawn them to you. (By Cruye)
60. The Death Note- The first name that is written on this card immediately dies, no saving throw. (By warriornate)
61. The infant- Your character immediately turns into a newborn baby. (By warriornate)
62. The Mirror- An exact duplicate of the PC pulling this card is instantly created somewhere in the world. This copy has one purpose, to supplant the PC that pulled the card. The copy is indistinguishable from the PC in every visible way, and is physically in essence that PC. This copy differs only in that they believe that pulling the card sent them across the world and supplanted THEM with a copy located at the DOMT. This copy can accomplish supplanting the PC using any method (Violent, non violent, etc) that they wish as long as the final result is taking the place of the original PC. For rules purposes this created copy is the same level, class, and alignment as the PC that drew the card, and has access to all of the items that PC had on their person when drawing the Mirror. (By HimurasanX)
63. The Fish - The character reeks of fish in a way that cannot be masked or removed. Additionally, any dead fish with the Beast creature type that the character touches, comes back to life as if had the True Resurrection spell cast on it. All Kuo-Toa are made aware of and believe in this effect on the character making it unremovable, even against the wish spell, except by the complete genocide of all Kuo-Toa. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
64. Mystery - Something extraordinary has happened, but the players don't know what. The DM will roll randomly to determine if it is a good, bad, or neutral thing for the players and decide what it is in secret. Regardless of the roll the event will have a significant effect on the entire region (if not the whole world) and, upon encountering the event, the character who drew the card will be made aware drawing this card was the cause. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
65. Wayfinder - A gate to another dimension appears before the character. This gate connects to the GM's choice of Sigil, The Outlands, The Astral Plane, or another Material Plane. Regardless of the GM's choice, the other side of this gate is guarded by both an Androsphinx and a Gynosphinx that the players will need to bypass in order to freely pass through the gate. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
66. Destruction - 8 bolts of chaotic energy fly out of the card extremely fast and attack all creatures within a 120ft radius sphere centered on where the card was drawn. The bolts acquire targets randomly each round and make a single attack at initiative 20. The attack is a ranged spell attack with +7 to the attack roll and deal 2d8 + 6d6 damage. Each orb deals a different type of one these 8 damage types: Acid, Cold, Fire, Force, Lightning, Poison, Psychic, Thunder. The bolts cannot be harmed or dispelled, do not attack anything that leaves the sphere, and disappear after 1 minute. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
67. Creation - Immediately after drawing this card the player who drew it chooses one item that they can create as if they had cast the Fabrication spell and it appears before them. No material components for the crafted item are required and the casting time is instant. Players who don't know how to make anything can create a single item of raw materials such a log or cube of gold. They must still meet the dimension requirements of the Fabrication spell. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
68. Animosity - From now on all creatures the character encounters with intelligence 6 or greater are initially hostile towards the character. This effect does not change their opinion of the character's companions and does not necessarily mean they will attack on sight. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
69. Friendship - From now on all creatures the character encounters with intelligence 6 or greater are initially friendly towards the character. This effect does not change their opinion of the character's companions and does not mean they will treat them as an equal. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
70. The Dragon - The entire contents of the nearest dragon's horde is placed before you. Immediately after, the dragon is made aware of your name, appearance and current location. The dragon believes you culpable and cannot be convinced otherwise. (By rstarr13)
71. The Rose- the card puller gains a +3 to all charisma skill tests for 24 hours (By infinitum3d)
72. The Flood- a soft gentle rain slowly grows over the next hour into a torrential downpour that follows the card puller, centered over then the entire hour. (By infinitum3d)
73. The Fop- for one hour, you fail every skill test, attack roll, and saving throw. You cannot succeed at anything. (By infinitum3d)
74. The Reward- for one hour, you have the exact funds to purchase anything you want. Just reach into your backpack and the gold coins are there. (By infinitum3d)
75. The Flumph - After 1d4 hours a Flumph painlessly grows from your body and detaches itself. The Flumph is completely loyal to you and you gain the ability to communicate with it and other Flumphs telepathically. If a Flumph dies two more Flumphs will grow from your body in 1d4 hours; this process continues until you have accumulated twelve Flumps. When the twelveth Flumph dies you magically transform into a Flumphp yourself, keeping all your statistics and abilities. (By clivedauthi)
76. Granite skin: +2 AC, disadvantage on Dex saving throws as your skin becomes a hardy but unwieldy mottled grey colour (By sjeveburger)
77. The Elder: There are no immediate effects to drawing the card until you attempt to sleep, the further you lull to sleep the more a sense of dread begins to build. This effect ends until you sleep or die from exhaustion. If you do sleep your consciousness is transported to a unknown realm outside the material plane, this realm appears to be a endless slab of carved mossy stone ground, floating above a dark abyssal ocean. The only sight within miles being the faint outline of a pillar. You can get closer to the pillar every night before waking up, each night you walk towards the pillar your character loses 5 max hp. It takes 10 nights to get to the pillar, which depicts a large tentacled being with its appendages wrapped around the planes of existence. If you choose not to touch the pillar or give up before reaching it, you awake with your hit points back and a forever lingering sense of dread. If you touch the pillar, the slab begins to sink and you are consumed by water before you glimpse at hundreds of orange beady eyes and tentacles, then you wake up,with your hp back and with the ability to see the world as it truly is, along with the knowledge that something terrible and older than the universe has been unleashed. (By Ford6Fingers)
78. Open Chest: The image of an open box resting on the ground grants the person who drew the card a random magical item of random rarity determined by the DM using either the magic tables in the DMG or the DMs choice. (By equinox75)
79. Insignificance- You are placed under a modified version of the Silence spell for 1d8 hours (By ControlledChaosJR)
80. The Card - This card features the image of a card on it. It negates all effects of the next card you draw. (By The_Incredible_Thulk)
81. Beast - next full moon you will transform into a werewolf. (By Dan-Han-Man)
82. Self-Control: You gain resistance to psychic damage and are less impulsive overall. Barbarians temporary lose these effects when raging. (By Spearhartt)
83. Gentleness: You take a permanent -2 to your AC. All non-hostile creatures with an intelligence greater than 6 now take a paternal affection towards you and are more likely to offer you assistance when possible. You gain advantage on persuasion checks against hostile creatures when the goal of your persuasion is to prevent conflict. If you witness someone close to you get killed you lose all effects of this card and gain +2 AC and +2 Strength for 1D4 hours afterwards. (By Spearhartt)
84. Faithfulness: For the next 1D10 days, everything you do is motivated by your deity. If you do not follow a deity, one appears to you and anoints you as it’s new follower. The deity that appears is based on your alignment, race, and background, at the DM’s discretion. If you roll a 10, you gain the Channel Divinity feature at its lowest level, based on the domain associated with your deity. (By Spearhartt)
85. Kindness: You find yourself drawn towards charity. For the next 1D6 days, anytime you see someone or something in need and you can assist in any way, you feel compelled to do so. This includes things such as healing, giving away your money, or assisting in a task that doesn’t take longer than the duration rolled earlier. (By Spearhartt)
86. Patience: If you’re the last person to enter a room, speak in a conversation, or take your turn in combat, you gain advantage on your next skill check relevant to that scenario. If you are the first, you have disadvantage. (By Spearhartt)
87. Peace: You gain the Calm Emotions spell and can cast it for free once per long rest. (By Spearhartt)
88. Joy: You find yourself overcome with obnoxious optimism. No matter what happens you always feel like it’s going to turn out okay. You become immune to being frightened but gain disadvantage on insight checks. This can be dismissed by the wish spell or by being knocked unconscious by a hostile creature. (By Spearhartt)
89. Love: You fall in love with the next non-hostile humanoid stranger you meet. You have disadvantage on any malicious skill checks against this person. This can be dismissed by the Wish spell or an act of true love by someone else towards you. (By Spearhartt)
90. The Diminutive Tree: A random player character of the party is suddenly and unceremoniously turned into a bonsai tree. Only vocal communication is available while in the form of the bonsai. The bonsai speaks only Sylvan. The bonsai is otherwise an inanimate object. The PC retains their HP and is able to cast spells of vocal components or freecast. To revert from the bonsai, the tree must either be planted and grown for three days with plenty of water, or with a wish/miracle/etc. Otherwise the PC will remain a bonsai tree, incapable of thirst, hunger, aging, or sleep. (By RealRedditPerson)
91. The Changeling: You immediately exchange powers and abilities with the nearest person or creature with an equivalent power level (as determined by level / challenge rating. (By Methuen)
92. The Mind Reader - you gain the psychic abilities of an Illithid but also gain the face sucking tentacles. (By AllHailMackius)
93. The Ghost - You immediately become semi-transparent, along with all clothing and equipment that you don (items lose this state if contact is lost). You are unable to change your opacity beyond this; you cannot turn invisible, or be made more visible (except by means of a wish spell). (By vysken)
94. Platinum : All platinum you possess (wherever it is) is tripled, but teleported to the lair of a powerful monster or dragon. The name of the monster appears on the card before disappearing. (By Sunkain)
95. Gold : You double all Gold coin you possess on this plane (so not in a bag of holding) (By Sunkain)
96. Silver : You become vulnerable to silver weapons. When you touch silver at the end of your turn, you gain a level of exhaustion (By Sunkain)
97. Bronze : You can always choose to be third in the Initiative Order in combat (By Sunkain)
98. The Tolling Bell : Shows a tolling bell with the words of John Donne "Therefore, send not to know/For whom the bell tolls,/It tolls for thee." Throw 1d12. The one who holds the card will die at dawn in as much days. Each day they will here a bell ringing the number of days left. You can pass the card but only unbeknownst to the other person, you can't sell it. When the time is other, instead of waking up, the person will see a gigantic black bell with an eye in its center. It will toll one last time, and the soul of the person will be consumed by the bell. No resurection possible. A tatoo of a black bell will appear on the head of the dead. If it is a PC, the card will disappear. If the person is not the PC who drawed the card, the card will appear in their inventory at the very moment the bell had tolled. Throw 1d12. For whom will she toll now? (By TanhaAel)
99. The Prophet - When this card is pulled, a projection of that players Deity forms in front of them, telling your player that they have been chosen as that deities prophet (DM role plays the Deity projection). The twist is that there is no actual affect that is granted to the player, but the DM should NEVER reveal this to the player. If the player has no religion or doesn't worship any deities, instead the card shouts at the player "You are not worthy, heretic!" in a deep booming voice, and then disappears in their hand and goes back into the deck randomly. (By metalzim)
100. The changeling- your character dies and the spell reincarnation is cast on your character. (By Chopperuofl)
101. Envy- Rather than sharing in their victory, your PC becomes saddened at the successes of those closest to them. Every time a party member besides the players rolls a natural 20 on a skill check, you have disadvantage on your next skill check. (By a combination of Spearhartt and Dan-Han-Man)